Nigel Owens is gay. Nothing to see here.

The rugby union referee Nigel Owens is gay. That’s right. Gay. Homosexual. And it’s in the news because he has received abuse. For being gay. For goodness sake.

Now pardon me, but just why is this news at all? I have known gay and lesbian people and I genuinely do not understand why it is news. My mum had a hairdresser called John who came round to our house to cut her hair and do you know what? He was gay. And not only was he gay, my mum only left me alone with him to do my hair too. The thing is that he didn’t molest me. Well, of course he fucking didn’t. He was gay, not a child molester, but sometimes you wonder if there aren’t quite a lot of people who still have views like that.

I knew (past tense, sadly) a man who had AIDS. We shared a good fine ales and I didn’t catch AIDS even though we might have occasionally accidentally swapped glasses. It was probably the saddest thing I had ever heard when he told me and what made it worse was that someone he knew – a deeply religious madman, you might not be surprised to learn – told him AIDS was his punishment for being gay. I am not making this up. An imaginary friend created a horrible, incurable illness and then punished gay people by enabling them to die of it. Well, someone made something up.

That a rugby referee happens to be gay really should not be newsworthy but of course it is. I have no idea what encourages the bigotry and hatred but it must be ignorance and stupidity. The implication is that rugby players, probably all sportsmen, are ‘hard’ and gay people aren’t. This can’t explain Gareth Thomas, then, who was one of the hardest rugby players of all time. I wasn’t his greatest fan when he played – I am definitely biased against Welsh rugby! – but that was more to do with the fact that his nationality and he was a winner! His sexuality wasn’t public knowledge when he played but now he has retired he went public with what and who he was. I so admire his courage and honesty but why the hell should I need to? Admire him more because he is what he is? Why the hell can’t we all accept that?

You shouldn’t have to be proud to be gay anymore than you should be proud to be straight.

But I suppose things are much better than they were in 1952 when a man who should have been feted as a war hero was instead prosecuted for gross indecency, which in those days was consensual sex between two adults. Alan Turing killed himself two years later following chemical castration. I know. It’s completely bonkers. But it’s worse than that.

To most people, sexuality is not an issue. To the younger generation it never was. My generation was somewhere in the middle, getting to grips with what was a non issue and strictly speaking none of our business.

You don’t become gay anymore than you become straight. It’s just you. Gay is not better or worse than straight. It’s the same thing because you can’t change what you are.

Nigel Owens – great referee. Homophobes in the crowd: get over yourselves, deal with your own insecurities and weakness. He’s just doing a job, same as anyone else. Move along, nothing to see here.