At our little food bank, in the imaginary town of Melchester, home of football legend Roy Race, we have begun rationing our food parcels. Because donations from the public have, in some areas, “gone off a cliff” to quote one manager, only one group of people can suffer: yes, those in food poverty. It is no wonder that volunteer workers, like me, often think: why do I bother?
Well, I bother because I care, which I know is a dreadfully pompous answer, suggesting that not everyone does care. And that would be untrue. People do care and give what they can. What many people find very difficult to accept is how so many people can live a super rich, cosseted lifestyle while others live in abject poverty.
Take the royal family (please). King Brian has revealed that in the last tax year, he paid £12.9 million in tax. In itself, that amount means nothing. We don’t know if that’s capital gains tax, income tax of whatever. It sounds a lot, but Brian and the royal family are said to be worth around £20 billion. Taken from the BBC website, have a look at these examples of how our money has been spent:
- The most expensive overseas royal visit was Prince William’s three-day trip to Saudi Arabia in February this year costing just over £130,000
- This was just ahead of the £126,946 in travel costs for the King and Queen’s four-day state visit to Italy in April 2025
- The King’s trip on the royal train to Lancaster in June 2025 costing £48,460. The train is due to be taken out of service by 2027 to save money.
- Some 177 helicopter journeys were made by Royal Family over the past year costing £733,063
I find this utterly mind-blowing. Why are the royals taking any helicopter journeys, never mind 177? Can’t they just take the car or train, like the rest of us? These ‘royal duties’ rarely involve more than shaking hands with people, waving and making a few bland comments. And how on Earth could Brian and Camilla Parker-Bowles travel costs alone to Italy come in at over £126.000? I am not saying they should fly with Ryan Air, but this does sound somewhat excessive to me.
Compare this expense to what we give out in an emergency food parcel, a figure like £126,000 would be of immense help to those with nothing, especially when those food parcels do not include all of those items because we don’t have them. Meanwhile, Prince William’s three day-trip to despotic Saudi Arabia costs over £130,000. Couldn’t they just speak to each other via teams? It costs the food bank literally nothing to staff food banks because – quite rightly – we aren’t paid and we don’t claim any expenses. It is hard to avoid the conclusion that even in these supposedly enlightened times some people are more equal than others.
Incredibly, King Brian owns the seabed and much of the foreshore (the land between the high and low tide marks) around England, Wales, and Northern Ireland. So, if I pop down to Weston Super Mare later on for a dip in the beautiful brown waters of the Bristol Channel, after a chorus or two of God Save The Queen., I’ll be thinking of him. (Or is it Him?
I am these days a realistic republican. If I was in charge, I’d abolish the monarchy in a heartbeat and put the royals back to work, always assuming they could find any. I am not convinced that the skills they have acquired would be transferable to The Real World, as we call it. But being realistic, I know that, for reasons I do not quite understand, most people would prefer to stick with the status quo and retain Brian and the gang. In which case, let’s do a few things to improve the situation.
I’d certainly want to slim the monarchy down and get rid of the lowly hangers-on. And I’d seek to ensure that the royals use some of their own money if they want to go on these wildly expensive jaunts around the world. I would introduce an element of real work into their lives, as royals have to work in other countries around the world. And if the royals want to use expensive private education and private health – and I don’t believe they should, at all – then let them pay for it. When I read about Prince William’s kids being prepared to go to Eton while we are packing small bags of emergency food parcels that have promised items missing, it’s a circle I can’t square.
I see the current system of the royals as being the system that’s always been there. There have been token attempts to modernise them, but in truth it’s just window dressing. All the class-based, cap-doffing and bowing shit still takes place and I find it totally anachronistic in this day and age. What next? Brian and Camilla, wearing their crowns and Brian his war hero medals, visiting food banks and helping to pack a few tins in bags for some of the poorest people in the land? That’s how mad this stuff is.
Apparently, we don’t have enough money to feed millions of the poorest people in the land but we have plenty with which to subsidise the richest and most privileged. I regard people who use food banks as largely the undeserving poor, people who have done nothing to deserve being without the basics. In which case, the royals must be among the undeserving rich (spoiler alert: they are).
Brian should know a thing or two about poverty because he was at Live Aid in 1985, with this then wife Diana Spencer. He will surely have that awful Feed The World song that preceded it. Maybe feeding Britain might be an idea, too?
