Despite my previously stated apathy for the last day of the January transfer window, I confess I did watch Sky’s bonkers OTT coverage last night until the window SLAMMED SHUT at 11.00pm. Actually, since comically camp Jim White was axed from Sky News, I wasn’t aware of anyone saying the door had SLAMMED SHUT, but close it did amid a fanfare of what we football experts call bollocks. An enormous fuss over not very much.
My interest, such as it was, circled around Liverpool’s apparent attempt to sign Fulham’s Fabio Carvalho. The reporter, a dour Scot whose name I didn’t catch, stood outside of Liverpool’s new training ground and told us from time to time the transfer was going to happen, there had been a ‘late breakthrough’ in negotiations only for him to return at window slamming time to announce the deal had fallen through and he’d wasted an entire evening when he could have been in the boozer. He didn’t actually say the last bit but his face suggested exactly that.
Sky’s show had all the intellectual depth and most of the excitement as the daytime TV schedules, which is to say none at all. All that happened was the same transfers were reported over and over again (“And Wes Scoggins of Gotham City has got the move he wants to Metropolis, as we have been reporting all fucking day”) and the two presenters and three pundits chatted about what had, or hadn’t. happened. Honestly, I am sure a part of me died when Sky was reduced to showing ‘highlights’ of previous transfer deadlines, although happily not those including ‘Arry Redknapp driving away from the training ground of whichever club he was mismanaging at the time.
There was probably only one bit of non business that I really wanted to see analysed and that concerned Manchester United benchwarmer Jesse Lingard. It appeared for all the world that he was about to get his dream move to…er…Newcastle United or West Ham but instead he was STAYING PUT. I was waiting for the Sky panel to debate the issue when it dawned on me why Lingard would be remaining at Old Trafford. It was entirely due to the unexpected absence of another one of United’s stars.
Mason Greenwood is not currently available for selection following allegations it would be unwise for us to discuss at this particular moment in time. And with the transfer window about to you know what, temporary supremo Ralf Rangnick must have thought it might be unfortunate to lose one player for a period of time but to lose two, and have to rely on United’s Geriatricos until May, might have buggered up their chances of claiming a place in the Europa League. So basically, Greenwood’s current issues have affected Lingard in a way he probably wasn’t expecting.
Elsewhere, things were even less interesting. Newcastle United continued to engage in sportswashing by spending Saudi millions on players keen to ply their trade in the Championship. Burnley signed a seven foot tall Dutchman, thus indicating gruff-voiced Sean Dyche’s tactical plans for the rest of the season. Manchester City shocked the world by spending less than £20 million on one player. And as per usual, whatever happened below the Premier League was of no relevance to Sky.
When the door finally SLAMMED SHUT, I had a ‘what-the-fuck-did-I-watch-that-for’ moment? There were many more things I could and should have done and instead I committed a couple of hours of my life to what was all filler, no killer.
Still, another Deadline Day ends and strangely the world is still turning. For how much longer, I have no idea.
