On the basis of a back of a fag packet calculation, not that I have been in possession of a fag packet since 1993, I have calculated there are 15 dogs living on our street. That’s compared with just the two cats. Ours is a very small street – an avenue, actually, whatever the fuck that means – but 15 dogs represents a majority of households, two cats a small minority. Nationally, 41% of households have a pet dog and 31% a cat. That’s 15.5 million dogs and 13 million cats. We’ve never had a pet dog but until last year we have mostly had cats. And much as we adored our furry friends, we have now had our last cat.
Our last cat, Reg (pictured above) was euthanised last year at the ripe old age of 17. His health was not the best, he was arthritic, requiring almost as much medication as me to keep going and clearly going downhill quite quickly. The decision to have him “put to sleep”, as we call it, was not difficult, although we both cried as the fatal injection was delivered. We knew that he would be our last cat, too. Here’s why.
The main reason for Reg being our last cat is that we are getting old, especially me. If we were to get a new kitten now and I lived as long as my mother did, s/he would only be seven years of age when I slipped off my mortal coil. In other words, we are concerned that a cat might, would very likely in my case, outlive us and then just think of what would happen to the poor cat. Someone would need to re-home her/him and given how territorial cats are, it feels somehow cruel and selfish. But there are other reasons.
Now that we are reaching the autumn or even winter of our lives, we want to do more things before the effects of old age reduce us to a day that involves doing little more than watching Bargain Hunt and This Morning. That includes going away for short and longer breaks. That’s not fair to the cat, either. Yes, we know that’s selfish but then again, we have just the one life to live. We have been owned by a grand total of five cats over many years and I would like to think they enjoyed happy lives, being much-loved by family members (although I know cats don’t give a toss about their so-called owners).
Then, there’s my asthma, as I thought it was for some 30 years plus. I have been wheezing away and puffing on inhalers all that time but when Reg died, my “asthma” started to ease and then completely disappeared. Of course, it wasn’t asthma: it was a cat allergy. D’oh. I don’t want to ruin my final years on Earth by having to use inhalers forever more? Obviously, no.
Finally, but equally importantly, if I am being honest, was the mounting costs of veterinary bills. At one point, we had three cats – Ronnie, Reggie and Charlie – and as they got older we were spending insane amounts on their health and welfare. Whereas human prescriptions cost around a tenner, cat prescriptions are not capped price-wise at all. We were drawing on our savings just to provide our boys with even the most basic medicines. And unlike humans, cats don’t get free prescriptions when they get old: they require even more medication. Unless you are on state benefits, in which case you can sometimes get help from charities like the PDSA, you have to pay the full economic cost of the medicines. The time had come in our lives to say enough was enough.
I always preferred cats to dogs. Cats are essentially low maintenance as long as they are well catered for and fed, they are quite happy. They are not loyal like dogs. In fact, cats don’t give a fuck about you, unless they want something. I love that about them. Dogs, by contrast, are loyal, friendly and love their owners. They do what they are told. You can’t, as legend goes, herd cats. If I am being honest, I can’t stand dogs, especially the smell. If I visit someone who owns a dog (people do own dogs, whereas cats own people), to me the whole place stinks of dog. I’d hate the daily process of walking the dog and, worse still, picking up hot steaming dog shit with nothing more than a plastic bag. And what do you do with holidays? Pack them off to some distant kennels or do you take them with you to some godforsaken caravan park and carry out your daily holidaying activities solely on the basis of going to places that are dog-friendly? I positively avoid places that are dog-friendly. No I am, actually was, very much a cat person. But now those days are ever, over a long time ago.
I really miss our funny cats but I don’t regret our decision to go cat-less. Sometimes, you need to be a selfish bastard if only to do the things you really want to do before you depart this world. I am more than aware of my own mortality and that this is actually life and not a training run. I’ll still enjoy looking at cat pictures and videos, and watch them skulk past the house, but only from a distance. It’s been a lot of fun, so thanks to Fred, Sid, Reggie, Ronnie and Charlie who made our lives a lot more fun. I hope theirs were fun, too. It was great fun being owned by you all. But until we meet again in heaven, which of course doesn’t exist, it’s goodbye and thanks. If only I could be euthanised when I’m old and cronky, but that’s another story.
