A very different world

I just watched a disinterested and bored-looking Boris Johnson chair a COVID-19 press conference this evening He was flanked by the chief scientific officer Sir Patrick Vallance and transport secretary Grant Shapps. Resembling more a scarecrow than a prime minister, Johnson appeared to have nothing new to say, so he say it anyway. It was the usual crap. Positive, upbeat bollocks, but little by way of factual information. Happily, some other people were paying attention to what was being said.

Johnson said that by Easter we would be living in a “very different world” from then onwards. This was “totally realistic'”, he added. Given his other predictions, like how we would be on top of the virus in 12 weeks (this was last March) and that Christmas would be “close to normal”, if I were you, I’d cancel my plans for Easter. I’m concerned now about our planned holiday in September. The other nuggets were easy to miss, which is why I missed them. Thankfully, Sky’s brilliant Sam Coates didn’t miss them.

Asked about reopening schools after Christmas, Johnson said they intended to do so “if we possibly can.” Woah. “If we possibly can”. That doesn’t sound particularly encouraging for parents. And certainly not when Vallance added “It’s likely that measures will need to be increased in some areas and not reduced.” Given that health secretary ‘Door’ Matt Hancock has already said the areas currently under a full lockdown – that is to say Tier 4 – won’t be coming out of that for months, it is blindingly obvious that the whole country is going back into lockdown. To be totally clear, in the New Year, it is extremely likely England will be back where it was in March. Happy Bloody New Year.

For reasons well beyond my level of comprehension, Boris Johnson remains popular with a certain section of voters who warm to his lies, his overpromising and his serial incompetence. Some qualities, eh?