We are all on drugs

A fascinating discussion on Emma Barnett’s Radio Five Live show this morning about coming off anti-depressants. Having been on them for donkey’s years, I have never seriously thought of ever stopping them. My depression is not of a minor nature. I’d be terrified at what might happen. But what if I really wanted to quit? What would I do?

The ‘experts’ on the radio were recommending that you should seek GP advice before doing anything. That makes sense. They probably know a little bit more about illness and prescribed drugs than I do. Yet a GP, for all her or his positive points, of which there are many, is more of a Jack (or Jill) of all trades. This would be general, not specific, advice. Is that enough?

I dread seeing a GP about my depression. I have a GP I trust and believe in more than the others, not least because I have seen her on a number of occasions and she knows about my illness and how it affects me. Seeing another doctor, or worse still a locum, feels me with anxiety. As anxiety can help stoke my depression, you can see a potential pitfall here.

The pharmacist reviews my medication but what use is that? They can’t carry out a full mental health assessment in a side room from the counter. I’d go so far as to say it would be a total waste of time. What’s the answer?

To return to my broken record, mental health is still not taken as seriously as physical health. You would not expect a ear, nose and throat specialist to attend to a broken toe, or assign a cancer specialist to arthritis. So, why is it okay for non-specialists to advise us on our mental health?

I would be encouraged if I met with my preferred GP and we worked on a long term plan for me to stop with the drugs. This would have to be in association with therapy to address my ongoing illness. The problem is, there’s nothing left for me, unless I have a full-on breakdown or get sectioned. The conclusion I draw is that I will just carry on as I am, taking industrial amounts of anti-depressants, simply in order to get by. As I have blogged before, my drugs allow me to function but I can still ‘see’ the depression that’s being blotted out, running almost in a parallel world. In other words, I can see that the drugs do work. They just don’t cure anything.

I am and I am not jealous of people who have been able to break the spell of medication. I would like to have ‘normal’ mental health and yet I am literally terrified what life might be, probably would be, like without my daily drugs.

There are still those who say you just need to ‘chill out’ and ‘snap out of it’, as well as thinking of the glass as being half full rather than half empty (which is exactly the same thing to me).

I need my drugs to make life worthwhile at best and bearable at worst. It’s great that the BBC is holding a debate on coming off anti-depressants. It’s not so great that the powers-that-be are doing literally nothing to help bring that about.