Tragedies like the Vancouver car-ramming attack happen to other families, not ours. We see the TV breaking news shows, we see the wild newspaper headlines, uncomfortably adorned with photos of grieving family members and wonder why the networks and newspapers exercise a little more restraint. And then, there is a photograph of my heartbroken brother and my nephew at a vigil for a woman killed in the attack: my sister-in-law.
My overwhelming emotion now is one of sadness. Perhaps other emotions, like anger, will follow, although I hope not. My brother Noel was interviewed by a media outlet:
When you never expect anything so terrible to happen to your family, how will you react if it does? In the midst of the maelstrom that has turned his life upside down in a heartbeat, I would like to be like Noel.
Everything has changed for our family. Life will go on, but it will never be the same again, particularly for Noel and Jenifer’s beloved children. We may never know what possessed the mind of the SUV driver and perhaps it is better that we don’t. I don’t suppose I will ever be disposed kindly towards him, but I need to find a better way to live my life. The corrosive power of hate has infected much of the world. Sometime, somehow the power of love, with all its healing qualities, must be allowed to become the new normal.
The day after the killings, time stood still. It lasted forever or at least seemed to. Now, life feels like an out-of-control roller coaster ride where I am fighting, successfully so far it has to be said, to hang on to my sanity and to be there for my grieving family. My responsibilities give me strength, enough strength, I hope, to see me through this terrible tragedy, something so terrible I would never wish it on anyone else.
Thanks to everyone for all the love. It has helped us navigate the early days and will help us get through stages of grief still to come. Life, or a version of it, has to go on, because otherwise, what is the alternative? As I said in a previous blog, hell came to town and it has blown our lives up and removed some of the certainties in our lives.
Once again, thanks for all the love. I already knew who my friends were but it’s deeply moving to be reminded of that.
