Doubtless my loyal reader will be expecting some kind of welcoming blog to our new prime minister, Liz Truss, but it’s not going to happen. I’ve said quite enough about Thick Lizzy to last a lifetime, never mind a parliamentary term but I am going to write about the weirdest, most dystopian thing I’ve seen in the media for – oh, let’s see – ever. Today’s edition of This Morning, with Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby.
There’s a section on the show where viewers phone-in and have the chance to win a shedload of money by way of spinning a wheel and hoping it lands on the highest number. Look at today’s wheel:
I shit you not. Phil and Holly give you the chance of not freezing to death this winter by winning the cost of your energy bills! One of the callers today apparently expressed his gratitude because he was on a pre-payment meter and was very concerned he might not make it through the winter. But now on British television you can, by way of sheer luck, avoid having to choose between heating or eating. I firmly expect other TV shows to run with the idea.
Maybe Strictly could incorporate a section whereby desperate members of the public rely on Craig Revel-Horwood to judge whether their American smooth is good enough to avoid frostbite. Or Pointless, where if you manage to guess the best answer, you can use an extra bar on the electric heater. Better still, how about some lottery scratch cards, which are purchased in the main by poorer members of society who might see an opportunity to survive until next spring. The latter might be the best option of all since the vast majority of folk who buy scratch cards lose the most money so they won’t be too upset or surprised to lose again. At least the cards could be added to a fire pit. There’s a use for everything, except quite possibly Liz Truss.
I am sure Phil and Holly mean well by giving the opportunity for people without a pot to piss in to have a better, more comfortable winter but this quiz idea seemed completely bonkers. Can you imagine it? “Now let’s see if the wheel of fortune will land on ‘Energy Bills’. If it does, you may be able boil that kettle and prepare a Pot Noodle after all. Come on: let’s hear it for the contestants. Here we go…the wheel’s spinning now…it’s slowing down…will you be able to keep the landing light on…yes, yes, yes….NOOOOOOO! Never mind. You can come on the show again next year – if you’re still alive. We’ll be back after the break with someone you’ve never heard of.”
