A couple of years ago, I had a minor scrape with HMRC over the vast profits I have been accumulating in my writing career. Very minor as it happens since I am still over four figures in the red since I struck out for literary glory. Not that I have run up debts but it has cost me far more than I have earned. It turns out that my inability to make a living from writing is shared by the vast majority of writers and the average income of a full time writer is around £7000 a year. I am nearly £7000 short of the average figure and the odds of me “making it” in my chosen profession are slightly less than the odds of winning the lottery. I’m guessing I was dobbed in for undeclared income given my lavish lifestyle (I drink filter coffee, enjoy bottled water and occasionally eat cheese). The powers that be soon realised that chasing me down for tax dodging was essentially pissing in the wind. In the end, I asked them if they owed me anything. Of course they didn’t.
Having been chased by the authorities for nothing, it has been instructive to see how they act when a top politician is treated. Take Nadhim Zahawi, the Tory MP for Baghdad Central – sorry, Stratford On Avon.
Zahawi, a property magnet worth around £100 million, didn’t realise back in 2023 that his electricity meter included heating bills for the horses in his stable and promptly claimed all of it from the taxpayer, a trifling £5,822.27. “It was a genuine mistake,” he added. It was “deeply embarrassing” he added, presumably for being caught in the act. Now the very same multimillionaire has been caught dodging tax and having to repay £3 million to the Exchequer, which is to say you and me. Well, who hasn’t accidentally avoided – or is it evaded? – paying £3 million in tax? I wonder if he was as shocked as I was when the HMRC letter came through the letterbox?
I suppose Zahawi and I have one thing in common: we both escaped media scrutiny for our dodgy tax avoiding, which in my case was just as well because I had no tax to dodge. Indeed, much of the media, especially the timid and government friendly BBC, appear to have a news blackout on Zahawi’s dodgy dealings. It appears that following the MP expenses scandal, the country has concluded that it’s perfectly all right for them to ignore the very same rules they impose on everyone else.
The tennis player Boris Becker and the jockey Lester Piggott were sent down for their own dubious financial dealings, so I have one simple question? How come Zahawi is not up before the beak?
The message is clear. Our so-called leaders are happy to bend and break the rules, so why shouldn’t we? If we can find someone to do some work and avoid, say, VAT, then where is the incentive to say, “Oh no, please ensure I pay an extra 20% on top.”? Of course, I am not suggesting for one moment that anyone should ever dodge VAT or any other taxes, but you get the idea, don’t you? With this group of spivs and crooks running the country, you do wonder if it’s worth being honest.
