The BBC website informs me that, “Nii Lartey, 25, was facing “a lot of negativity and self-doubt” when he first picked up a pair of old trainers and went for run.” I assume Nii probably said “a run” and not merely “run”, but that’s neither here nor there. Either way, he offered some helpful advice, that he wanted to “tackle depression through running.” Good for him. That’s all there is to it, right?
I can bore for Britain, though sadly no longer Europe, when it comes to droning on about depression. I know from back to front and inside out just show debilitating depression can be. After all, I am currently ‘celebrating’ 50 glorious years of mental ill health. But running as cure for mental illness doesn’t cut it for me.
Some days, it’s all I can do to get out of bed. Legs like lead, brain a thick fog of emptiness, the last thing I want to do is walk, never mind run. And my particular Black Dog is a very anti-social beast. In a dark spell, if I go out on my own, I want to keep it that way, anxiously scanning the place I am in, trying to make sure I don’t bump into anyone I know.
My particular Black Dog is an important part of the narrative. He’s not the same as everyone else’s Black Dog because no Black Dog is the same as someone else’s. Indeed, some people’s Black Dogs go away after treatment or things like running. I get that. Mine won’t go away at all.
There could be an element of jealousy in my negative reaction to people showing off about their running, although I don’t think there is. I don’t really care too much for anyone who brags about how great they are at anything and/or seeks to convince me how attractive they are through an endless number of selfies being posted on social networks.
I reckon I’d need to be cured, at least partially, from my illness in order to start running. I very much appreciate the efforts of people like Nii in showing us there are ways of overcoming mental illness but what works for him won’t work for me.
Therapy might make things better but that’s not an option because the NHS only provides treatment for those with minor episodes and those who need to be sanctioned. As in politics, the centre ground where most of us exist, to one degree or another, lies ignored and we’re just left to our own devices.
Running to cure depression is a nice idea. However, you need to be well enough to actually get out and do it. That’s the paradox for me and I can’t see a way around it. And the idea of running for the sake of it doesn’t greatly appeal.
