Some things I just don’t want to know

Following the family request for privacy after the death of Specials legend Terry Hall, I am not sure I wanted to read, the following day, a “this is what happened” Instagram message from one of his bandmates. Doubtless, there was conjecture and speculation at Hall’s passing, although not among my family and friends, who showed impeccable kindness and respect. It would be dishonest to suggest I didn’t have a suspicion of the likely causes, but it was not something I wished to pursue. I was sad for Hall, his family and friends and his legion of fans whose love for the man went way beyond his music. I’ve no intention of linking to any outside articles on this blog.

How could it be that someone so talented, so inherently decent, so committed to good causes and so handsome should die so soon? 63 is no age at all these days and there was so much more to give. What we now have is a stunning body of work which will live for as long as there is music, music which affected a generation and did so much to try to repair our broken society. Terry Hall and his collaborators did more to united people than a million politicians could ever do.

I wrote in a previous blog how The Specials were front and centre in the campaign against racism at a time when others were looking the other way. The narrative, particularly of their classic Ghost Town, is as relevant today, in parts of our decaying nation, as it was over 40 years ago. Successive generations have passed through and attitudes have slowly changed to the point where most young people, in particular, see the colour bar as an evil from another age. There is still work to be done and there always will be, but things are better now than they once were. The sad thing is that Terry Hall will no longer be here to see it.

There is no logic to the question as to why some good people die young and some bad ones grow old, no grand design, no celestial plan, nothing we can really explain. And it’s not true that the good die young, not all of them, anyway. But a loss like this makes you feel that way.

I don’t feel any different now I know the causes of Terry Hall’s death. I didn’t need to know, didn’t particularly want to know, had no right to know, but inevitably I knew I would. And all the news did was make me sad, especially towards those who felt his loss far more than they might have expected to.

“What could have been” is another thing we can never know. I’ve thought that about pretty well everyone I knew, who have died and plenty I didn’t know. Thinking that way has no positive benefits or aspects but human nature will always take us along that road.

I am sad Hall suffered and I am happy that he suffers no more. I wish he had never suffered at all. More than that, I probably wish I didn’t know that at all.