Hands up who likes what they see in the mirror? I can’t say that I do. Even if most of my hair remains, unfeasibly brown, unlike my beard which is increasingly white, and the jowls aren’t too desperate yet, it’s not a pretty site. I hardly have the relatively athletic shape of my younger day, but things could be worse. One stone less would make things much, much better.
I think I have taken three or four selfies in my entire life and each one looks ghastly to me. One side of my face always looks bigger than the other, mainly because it is, thanks to a number of operations in adolescence. Sometimes, my mouth appears to droop, because of major dental surgery some time ago which destroyed some nerve canals. I am not engaging in self-pity here – “I am SOOOO ugly!” – but if the mirror doesn’t lie, I don’t think I’ll pay too much attention to it.
I remember taking a photo of myself in the car, looking all mean and moody, at least I thought so. As soon as it was posted, a close friend announced that I looked “a right prat” and of course I did! I had entered the world of narcissism and I could not leave it soon enough.
Photographs are undoubtedly improved by having people in them, provided those people aren’t me. My far more photogenic partner and sons (have they every been involved in ANY bad photos?) are far more suited to bringing places to life.
Perhaps I might change my mind when I am 19 pounds lighter, my target to reach, not by dieting (diets don’t work), but by tweaking my lifestyle, taking more exercise and – yes – drinking less, it should be easy enough.
I can’t say I enjoy my current relatively minor weight problems being pointed out by people with no obvious weight problems. I cannot be bothered to explain that, for reasons that are none of their business, I have not been looking after myself properly and anyway, “Are you saying that to make me feel bad and yourself better, or are you just an insensitive bastard?”
Maybe I’ll come to love myself when the weight starts pouring off (the first week was dramatic, as first weeks always are), but I don’t think I’ll love myself enough to start putting even more selfies on social networks, giving friends the opportunity to say “looking good” even if I’m probably not!
