I was unfortunate enough to see a popular Facebook group today which was attempting, successfully it seemed, to ridicule the TV personality Carol Vorderman. I won’t name it but suffice to say it was filth of the lowest order. It was saying something along the lines of ‘Here’s Carol Vorderman showing off her incredible curves at the age of 61’. I have no idea whether the photograph was real or doctored but let’s just say it wasn’t flattering. Nor was it aimed to flatter. It was inviting people with too much time on their hands to say horrible things and, boy, people said horrible things. It was blatant misogyny, yet one of the worst things about it was that many of the harshest critics were women.
Cards on the table, I have made mistakes in the past regarding people’s appearances. And I’ve tried to learn to be a better person. To do that, I had to go back to the start: what is attractive and what isn’t? It’s an easy answer. Or rather there isn’t one. We are what we are. But women suffer far more than mere men.
Vorderman wasn’t showing off her incredible curves, or flaunting them as the Daily Hate Mail calls it. She was wearing a dress. I have no idea what the occasion was, assuming there was an occasion at all. But as far as I am concerned, she can wear what the hell she likes and should not be judged by some voyeur posing as a photographer. This wouldn’t normally happen to a man. We get away with it most of the time, but imagine seeing this kind of photo about yourself and then reading the comments below? It’s not being kind, is it?
For good reasons, I hate being photographed, even by my partner. My filter is excessive but my partner too has a live filter and knows what she likes and what she doesn’t. I know many of you don’t give a toss whether you appear on a photo as if you have Bell’s Palsy, you gurn absurdly and are carrying a few pounds or even stone overweight. Sod what anyone thinks when you stick on social media and quite right too. But imagine if that appeared in the mass media, with you being accused of showing off or flaunting your body. Whose business is it anyway? These sad fucks on social media attacking someone they have never met, judging her on a photo that, for all we know, is fake and even if it isn’t, then so what?
With women, they are supposed to look perfect, whatever that means. That’s what elements of the media believe. Out here in the real world, most of us accept that there is no such thing as perfect and what are flaws to some are assets to others. Men, we can get away with anything. We control much of the media and we dictate fads. But guess what? Men are wrong.
Please don’t go searching for the Vorderman stuff on social media. Commenting just encourages the hate movement. Just leave them to it and feel not anger but pity for them. If you don’t like the way someone looks, it’s none of your business. If you feel the need to attack someone for how they look, you’re a bit sick. And when you look in the mirror, you may just find out you’re not as perfect as you think you are.
