It’s become very clear that health minister Nadine ‘Mad Nad’ Dorries did not misspeak last night when she announced the Cover-19 lockdown could only be lifted until a vaccine was available. Given her reputation as a loose cannon, I wondered if this was Mad Nad engaging mouth before what was left of her brain, but no. She was flying a kite, putting something out there; something quite deliberately timed to have the maximum effect. She was signalling the direction of the government of which she is still a member.
I suppose we should not be surprised since the only political appointment Boris Johnson has made since the epidemic began was an additional spin doctor, one Isaac Levido, a protege of ‘Sir’ Lynton Crosby, who is much beloved by hard right politicians all over the world. Nad would have been speaking with the full authority, indeed encouragement, of spin doctors. Hard to believe, isn’t it? Not exactly, no.
We know all about spin doctors. They gave us ‘take back control, ‘get Brexit done’, ‘stay home, protect the NHS, save lives’ and, less successfully, Theresa May’s ‘strong and stable’. Those slogans played a part in our decision to leave Europe and to elect Boris Johnson’s government. Spin works. And now the politicians are spinning about the biggest threat to our health in generations. Is nothing sacred?
Spin has been all over the government’s reaction to the epidemic. Ministers are clearly under instructions to remind us that the government will do ‘whatever it takes’ to get the country through this. ‘Whatever it takes’ sounds very grand, but it doesn’t mean anything. It’s merely supposed to make us think that the government has got everything under control and everything will be all right in the end.
No government including, never mind one run by, Boris Johnson could be relied upon to tell the truth because that’s not what Johnson does. He has always lied, whether as a journalist or politician. And because so many people love the bumbling posh boy act Johnson has co cleverly created, he gets away with things no other politician could. If the polls are to be believed – and I for one believe them – most people are very happy with the way in which Johnson and the government are managing the crisis, despite much of the evidence – the death tolls which are eclipsing the numbers in Spain and Italy, the disastrous lack of testing, the lack of adequate PPEs etc etc – suggesting they are making a complete Horlicks of it.
Preparation is now, finally, underway to spin the next message, that this will not be a six day wonder. This is the inescapable and only explanation for Dorries’s tweet from last night. Ever so slowly, the ground is being prepared to keep the country under lockdown, quite possibly well into 2022. Those of us who thought we might finally get that overseas holiday before autumn and winter came along are now looking down the barrel of that overseas holiday not taking place until the summer of 2022.
Because Dorries has said the country cannot come out of a complete lockdown until we have an effective vaccine and we know we will not have one of these for at least 18 months. Not only that, her boss Matt Hancock, the health secretary, has admitted as much this morning during his media tour.
The consequences are staggering. Social distancing carrying on for two years. How do you open normal businesses, reopen all forms of travel, go to the pub on a Saturday night if you have to stand or sit two metres away from people at all times?
It renders even more laughable the suggestion by some that there will be street parties when this is all over. At least there will be plenty of time to plan them. Years, in fact.
