“It’s the end of the world,” screams the Sunday Express to its elderly right-wing readership. The absolute state of it. England lost a football match, you idiots (the Express, not you, my loyal reader). Look, I was, in footballing parlance, “gutted”, the experience was “gutting”, it was a “kick in the guts” but it really isn’t the end of the world. That happens in billions of years time when things fall apart, if we don’t destroy our planet ourselves, first.
Things were not always thus. In different, younger, times a mere football match would dramatically affect my mood, not just for the day, but the whole weekend, maybe longer. In olden times – well, 2018 – much of every weekend would revolve entirely around Bristol Rovers, whether live, on Radio Bristol or via Jeff Stelling’s Sky show. Losing the emotional attachment to my only club was unexpected, costing me much of my social life and fracturing long term friendships, which was and remains undoubtedly the worst bit, but removing the one-eyed obsession has had its plus points, too, the main one being I how have far more perspective about my own life and those of others.
That sinking feeling didn’t last that long once the French began their post match celebrations and while I felt that we were the better team, certainly in the second half, and the referee was all but wearing a blue shirt, my disappointment didn’t last long, probably because we switched off ITV’s commentary long before the post mortem and the “How did it feel to miss a penalty which meant we lost, Harry”? interviews.
I’ve now decided to not watch any more games in this tournament but I wonder how long that decision will last? Sadly, it wouldn’t be a case of wanting teams to win because I’d be wanting France and Argentina to lose and these days I find schadenfreude a very unpleasant feeling seeing that it’s born of dislike and negativity. Christ knows I have enough trouble dealing with negativity as it is.
Of course, I understand totally the role of football in society. It’s our national game, isn’t it, so it’s no surprise that it means so much to so many. It still means a lot to me, although I watch my football mainly from the armchair these days, and less of it than ever before. I’m happy that I don’t feel like it’s the end of the world because there was a time not long ago when I felt a defeat such as last night was exactly that. There’s always tomorrow or at least we hope so.
