Her Royal Highness and her child are both doing well.

‘Princess Eugenie, the Queen’s grand-daughter, has given birth to a baby boy, Buckingham Palace has announced.

The royal baby, who is the Queen’s ninth great-grandchild and 11th in line to the throne, was born at 08:55 GMT on Tuesday at the Portland Hospital in central London, weighing 8lbs 1oz.

In a statement, the palace said the Queen and Eugenie’s parents, the Duke and Duchess of York, were “delighted”.

Buckingham Palace said Jack Brooksbank was at his wife’s side for the birth.

The baby’s name has not yet been announced.

The palace said in its statement: “The Queen, the Duke of Edinburgh, the Duke of York, Sarah, Duchess of York, and Mr and Mrs George Brooksbank have been informed and are delighted with the news.”

It added: “Her Royal Highness and her child are both doing well.”‘

I don’t really know who Princess Eugenie is but good luck to her. She’ll need all the good luck she can get with parents as dysfunctional as Sarah ‘Toesucker’ Ferguson and paedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s best pal Prince Andrew. But we should take this stuff seriously. Eugenie’s bouncing baby boy could soon be king.

Well, not really. Only if we have a new series of Designated Survivor, based in England, where everyone royal gets bumped off, except the new kid in town. Unlikely.

It is good to learn that Eugenie’s parents were “delighted”. As with everything else in life, this one word quote is absurd if you can imagine Sarah and Andy saying the opposite. “We’re really fucked off with this. The only good thing is that when he gets married, his in laws will have to foot the bill for the semi-royal marriage in 20-odd years time.”

Better still, a long list of other royals, including the Head Doris herself (Liz) are also “delighted”. As are Mr and Mrs George Brooksbank, the parents of the father who appear to share their first name. Most odd.

Of course, we are glad that the latest royal sprog is “doing well”. As taxpayers, we are going to be paying towards his life of leisure for the rest of his life. We might as well get our money ‘s worth.

But, Christ on a bicycle: 11th in line to the throne? You know full well Baby Sprog won’t ever get near the throne. Instead, in due course he will spend his life in a sheltered, gated world, enjoying the best education money can buy, largely paid for by people who could not possibly afford to pay for the best education money can buy.

Plenty more children were also born today, many of whom face a far more bleak future than the offspring of Mr and Mrs Brooksbank. I realise that most people don’t want to get rid of the royal family so I’ll put up with it until they change their mind. I hope that one day people will decide that the royal family is a nonsense and we can get rid of all of it. Perhaps, when Prince Charles fills his mum’s boots after she finally shuffles off her mortal coil, we might begin to wonder whether this royal malarkey is worth persevering with. I can’t imagine singing ‘God Save The King’ to that twat.

I can live with paying a few quid to keep Liz and Phil in their top jobs, as well as the immediate senior royals. But Eugenie Brookbank? I think not. Get a job, love.