The coronation of King Charles III comes ever closer, not that I have exactly been waiting with bated breath to watch a bloke who is king being made king. In fact, the thought of it has barely crossed my mind until this morning when I was on a minor shopping expedition to our local Asda. I literally couldn’t miss the special coronation aisle right in front of me. Flags, paper cups, more flags, table cloths, more flags, paper plates and – did I mention? – more flags? As I strode purposefully on towards the food sections, I asked myself a simple question: is it just me who hasn’t noticed the coronation creeping up on us?
I resolved to do some basic research of what’s actually happening over the coronation weekend and here’s a brief explanation:
- Saturday 6th May. The coronation service will take place in the morning at Westminster Abbey. Buckingham Palace describes it as, “a solemn religious service, as well as an occasion for celebration and pageantry.” Then there will be a procession returning Chas and Camilla to Buck House where other royals will appear on the balcony and wave.
- Sunday 7th May. There will be a concert at Windsor Castle featuring Take That, Katie Perry and Lionel Ritchie, as well as performances by various classical singers and choirs. Buck House also announces The coronation big lunch and says: “Neighbours and communities across the United Kingdom are invited to share food and fun together at Coronation Big Lunches on Sunday 7th May 2023, in a nationwide act of celebration and friendship.” This will be open to everyone, except homeless people and the millions using food banks, obvs.
- Monday 8th May. It’s The Big Help Out. Again, I quote Buck House: “In tribute to His Majesty The King’s public service, The Big Help Out will encourage people to try volunteering for themselves and join the work being undertaken to support their local areas. The aim of The Big Help Out is to use volunteering to bring communities together and create a lasting volunteering legacy from the Coronation Weekend.”
Unfortunately, this is hair wash weekend for me and that will prevent me participating in any of it, not least The Big Help Out. Now, let me clear that I support the idea of people volunteering for their communities. Christ, I do it every Thursday. But I don’t do it “in tribute to His Majesty The King’s public service”. I do it because I don’t like to see my fellow human beings going without food. It’s a noble idea people doing something for nothing but is it any more than sticking plaster, or even worse an attempt to extend the use of charities to do the work normally carried out by public agencies?
It reminds me of David Cameron’s ‘Big Society’, which was rolled out in 2010 following the election of a Conservative government in which some Lib Dems took jobs. Depending on who you listen to, The Big Society was either a genuine, post-Thatcherite political ideal, whereby charities and other local actors who knew their communities well would step up and provide services previously run by public authorities or a cynical cover-up for the government’s austerity programme, which led to an estimated a 40% real terms cut in public services by 2020. Well, it was a bit of one, where charities have had to provide services previously run by public authorities, but it was all of the other. It soon fizzled out, probably because Cameron and co didn’t really give a toss about the idea, other than to attract votes and to make them look more human and because the public saw through it all. Are Chas and Camilla planning a similar initiative?
Probably not. The Big Help Out is suitably vague, if not totally vacuous. It’s being coordinated by an organisation called the Together Coalition, which includes the great, the good and the very bad, like recently sacked CBI supremo Tony Danker, the editor of The Sun, Victoria Newton, and the former director of Vote Leave, an organisation that divided this country more than anything in our history, Matthew Elliott. You couldn’t make it up. But someone did.
My guess is that, generally speaking, The Big Help Out will be forgotten almost immediately by most folk who will have bread to put on the table. Some folk may find by getting involved for one day it may clear their consciences, in the same way that people arrange for Christmas hampers for the very poor but then do fuck all else for the next 51 weeks. And as for “His Majesty The King’s public service”, it’s what he does. He doesn’t have a 9 to 5, or even the hipster 5 to 9, day. If he didn’t do it, someone else would have to be rushed around from place to place shaking hands with people. That’s public service, right?
Hopefully, nothing much will change that weekend. My Morrison’s shop will still turn up, the buses will still be running, the pubs will be open and I’ll be able to get a round of golf in with old pals. But a weekend with Chas and Camilla, no thanks. I’ll remain out of touch, thank you very much.
