Et tu, Gav?

One of the many things I don’t say about my less than stellar scholastic career is this: “If only I had studied hard at Latin.”  I have a vague recollection of being force-fed Latin in my early years at Brislington (Briz) school and a clear recollection of it being a complete and utter waste of time. But guess what? The Private Pike of British politics, Education Secretary Gavin Williamson is bringing back Latin for our children to enjoy. Praise be, or whatever the Latin is for that.

Williamson says there should be no difference between what pupils learn in private schools to what they learn in state schools, but he doesn’t really mean it because otherwise there wouldn’t be private schools, but he offers this absolute gem for us: “Latin can help pupils with learning modern foreign languages, and bring broader benefits to other subjects, including maths and English.” I am not an expert and it could be that this is true, but I take a rather old fashioned view of this. Rather than throw money at bollocks like Latin, why not spend more on worthwhile subjects?

The broadcaster Mary Beard goes further. She is delighted that Latin is back in the classroom because it would “help more pupils to have the challenge and fun of learning about the ancient world.” I can cheerfully share my ignorance here by saying, what’s the point of that? Surely History can teach kids about the ancient world instead of inventing yet another subject for the curriculum? I’ve argued that we should get rid of Religious Studies as a stand alone subject and stick it in with history. Why not put Latin in there too?

But then Beard makes a killer point. She says: “Latin is an extraordinarily enriching subject. It gives you direct access to some of the most inspirational literature in the western world (from Virgil’s great epic Aeneid to the historian Tacitus’ critique of the corruption of power and the subversive counter-culture of the poet Ovid). Well, in my local pub, the regulars talk about little else. “That Ovid bloke,” they say. “I’m really into his subversive counter-culture. Anyway, who’s round is it?”

This Latin malarkey will cost around £21 million which is a huge investment given that it took a footballer, Marcus Rashford, to persuade the prime minister that ensuring children were able to enjoy something to eat at lunchtime as opposed to eating nothing, which they would otherwise have done. Indeed, millions of children live in poverty but Williamson, that most insipid of human beings, prioritises fucking Latin.

Perhaps in the long term, Latin might be a useful subject to study, but I’d suggest that the sciences, Maths and English might just be more important at the moment, as well as the provision of education for children who don’t want to go to university and instead want to learn a trade. Latin may well be an “extraordinarily enriching subject” but it is really that much of a priority when we just want our children to learn worthwhile stuff to prepare them for life at work?