Do you mind if I have a little moan? A mountain out of a molehill type moan? A complete loss of perspective? Why, thanks for that because I am angry. Angry at TV listings magazines. They’re having a laugh.
As I watch very little “normal” TV these days, I no longer purchase the Radio Times, my former listings magazine of choice. There’s no point. I don’t watch Strictly (except when Karen Clifton is dancing, obviously) and I would not watch the X Factor if you paid me (a small amount of money. I would negotiate over a larger amount). I don’t watch soaps, I don’t care for quiz shows. I mainly watch sport and listen to the radio. But I buy it every Christmas. The big double issue that takes in Christmas and the New Year, except that this year it doesn’t. Due to a quirk of the calendar, the double issue covers only Christmas and if I want to know who is on Jools Holland on New Year’s Eve, I’ll need to buy the next single issue.
I will probably just buy the Christmas special because, well, we do. It’s a crucial part of Christmas, rather like the tree, presents sand generally getting shit-faced. In other words, a deeply religious celebration, replete with turkey, nuts and cherry brandy, hopefully not all at the same time. God would not want it any other way.
I am not sure really if I will need the Radio Times at all. I know that on Christmas Day, we’ll have Top of the Pops, the Queen, a crap “family” film, East Bleeding Enders (twice?), the Strictly Xmas special and, to help me to nod off in front of the telly, something utterly crap like Call the Midwife.
Please do not imagine, for one moment, that The Great TV Listings Magazine Rip Off will impact negatively on the Christmas experience. Of course it won’t. Pretty well everything about Christmas is a rip off. Not a single retail operation is thinking of anything other than making a killing from the punter. The listings magazines are making extra money by not starting the double issue start on Christmas Eve but if they did we’d all complain anyway.
I’ll buy the Radio Times. It’s part of the Christmas uniform. When people come round for drinks, they will need to see we mean Christmas business. It will need to be there, just in case someone needs clarification of when the festive Casualty begins during the Cava and nibbles.
