One of the many lowlights of the last World Cup was the sight of the Argentina football team displaying a banner – on the actual pitch – proclaiming that ‘Los Malvinas Son Argentinas’, meaning that the Falkland Islands belong to them, the country that is, not the national team. Now led by a president who looks more like a piss poor Elvis impersonator than an international statesman, and seemingly supported by President Dementia Donny Trump, the age-old conflict about who owns the Falkland Islands begins again. The Big Question being posed by various commentators is this: will the Argies launch military action to reclaim the islands? The simple answer is this: of course not.
The sabre-rattling usually arises when Argentina is struggling economically and the leader is desperate for easy wins. That’s what happened in 1982 when fascist dictator General Galtieri, encouraged by Margaret Thatcher’s devastating cuts to the Royal Navy, launched a full invasion and occupied the Falklands until the British Armed Forces kicked them out again. It didn’t end well back then, especially for the hundreds of British and Argentinians who died in the conflict, and it wouldn’t work out well for Argentina today.
While the last Conservative governments, in one of which Lib Dems took jobs, slashed the armed forces to little pieces (can you see a theme yet with Tory governments and the armed forces?), the UK still has a relatively powerful set-up. Today’s Argentina has no aircraft carriers, no submarines, no frigates and no destroyers whereas we have quite a few of all of these, plus an actual armed forces base in the Falklands themselves. The only way in which the Argies could launch a successful invasion – and even then at an enormous cost – would be for someone, like Trump perhaps, to lend them the ships, planes and armed forces. I mean, don’t put it past him – he is still in angry toddler mode after Keir Starmer refused to join Trump’s war on Iran, which has of course gone so well – but frankly I don’t see it.
Our media plays up the possibilities, or as I call them impossibilities. It suits them to say that the Labour government is soft on defence when it was actually the government they so slavishly reported on who were to blame for hollowing out the armed forces. But given that Falkland Islanders have voted to remain ‘British’, no Labour government will even countenance the idea of handing the islands over to a ludicrous figure like President Milei, or for that matter Lionel Messi and his pals.
I have other things to worry about. I watched the Falklands conflict on TV and became a bit of an anorak on the subject. I was one of those who initially assumed the Falklands were somewhere off Scotland, such was the level of my knowledge of Geography and while I hated Thatcher more than anyone else who has ever lived, and still do, I supported her government’s campaign to retake the islands, even though it was partly her fault that they were invaded in the first place.
Now, the Falklands are protected by our armed forces and they will stay that way. Don’t believe the hype. Our boys won’t be sailing down to the South Atlantic, as they did in 1982, to set the islands free because they are free already.
In other words, move along, nothing to see here. Everyone loves a good war, until the body bags start coming home. Unless Milei and his pals have completely lost their minds – and being friends with Trump suggests they might be halfway there – this story will soon go away. In any event, Argentina lost the last World Cup. I doubt that the people fancy losing another Falklands War, even if the pampered footballers, many of whom play in the Premier League, seem to think differently.
