Coming over here

As you can see from the the front page of today’s Daily Mail, there’s a story I can relate to. My gene pool has come from places far and wide so when I saw the headline, I thought, “That’s me.” Yes, it’s all about me. “How I transformed my love life – by stopping faking orgasms.” The other bit that caught my eye was the Big Splash headline, “One in six of us was born abroad.”

My initial thought with the “born abroad” headline was, “Yes, And?” So, was my next thought. The same cannot be said for my paternal grandfather who, as Suella Braverman might put it, was part of the Norwegian invasion sometime around the turn of the last century and my mother who was part of the later Dutch invasion. If I’d been racist enough, I could have pointed out how they came over here, taking other people’s jobs who no one else wanted to do, paying taxes, never claiming benefits not least because none existed that they as working people could claim and, worst of all, being foreign. Absolute wrong ‘uns. At least they were white, I suppose.

I am in no doubt that the Mail story – not the one about orgasm faking – has been carefully designed to fit around its pernicious anti-migrant/asylum seeker/refugee/ foreigner agenda, if only to remind its readership that they are being swamped by invasions. Soon after the innocent looking headline, there’s more stuff about “taking back control” of migration. And there’s me, with pints – or is it litres? – of non-pure British blood circulating through my British born body. Three-quarters of me exists because bloody foreigners kept coming over here.

My feeling is that a majority of people don’t give a toss where people come from, or what colour they are, for as long as they work hard and play by the rules. Even if they once faked orgasms. But I see what the Mail is doing, reminding us that our purity, as they must see it, is being diluted by people who don’t talk and look like ‘us’ and have silly names like, well, Johansen.

The Mail hates you. Never forget and never buy it.