I’m going to say something completely ridiculous now. So ridiculous you will probably think I’ve lost what’s left of my tiny mind. But here goes anyway. It’s too hot for me. There. I said it.
This, mind you, from someone who has been on holiday to Greece on something approaching 30 times, almost always in peak season when it’s usually around this temperature, and while there have been times abroad when I thought I was going to melt, I rarely felt as overheated as I do right now.
In the old days, I would have dealt with the extreme heat by consuming additional quantities of ice cold beer but my GP has advised me that if I carry on down that road, I could end up legless in more ways than one. I’m not dreadfully ill but that cholesterol and that higher than normal blood sugar level can’t be ignored because otherwise I’ll be taking even more bloody tablets. Instead, I’m wolfing back endless pints of tap water which I am assured is better for me.
Everything has been an effort this week. My already erratic sleep patterns have slipped into absolute chaos as I seem to have perspired at least half my bodyweight every night. During the day, I go for an exercise walk and as soon as I walk through the door I need another shower. I hate being smelly or even the thought that I might be smelly and I’m doing the exact opposite of what the government wants me to do by having more time in the shower and not less.
Today, I drove to the seaside, such as it is, at Severn Beach. No one in their right mind would describe Severn Beach as a resort of any kind but at least I might be able to enjoy some kind of cooling breeze. Not a bit of it. The tide was miles out – no bad thing for the Bristol Channel – and the hot air swirled aimlessly around. After a brief walk, I felt even worse than when I arrived.
There is no escaping the parched fields along the way. I gather things don’t look as bad as they do in London, but it won’t be long until they do. I took the northbound M5 and observed the stationary southbound M5, feeling very glad I wasn’t travelling southbound. I drove straight home, downed a couple of pints of – bloody hell – water and sat down, keeping as still as I could.
I’m literally wishing the summer away now. When we were in Greece in June, the temperature was generally between 25c and 29c; hot, but not unbearably so. Since we got home, we’ve had this utterly mad weather and I find myself wishing for just a little rain, knowing that once it eventually starts raining again, it won’t stop at least until next spring. But I just know that once September comes along with those increasingly dark, damp and cool evenings, I’ll be moaning about that, too.
I’d just like the climate to change for just a couple of days. Trouble is the reason why this weather is so bonkers is climate change.
