And What Do You Do?

In terms of the British Royal Family, I have always been of the view that whilst they are an absurdity in the modern world, and perhaps the not-so-modern-world, there are more important things to worry about. The Queen and the rest of the firm are an anachronism, but most people seem to like them and they do attract tourists. And as Johnny Rotten ‘sang’, “tourists are money.” I have now had a complete change of heart. The monarchy must go.

So, what has brought about this change of heart? Quite simply, a book. And not just any old book but ‘And What Do You Do?’ by Norman Baker.

It is hard to find a book about the royals that doesn’t ooze gushing sycophancy, so finding this one was, for me, a revelation. None of the royals come out of it well, although some, namely Princess Anne and the Queen, come out it less badly than others

From their ghastly obsession with hunting and killing animals, which continues right up to today, to their wasteful extravagance and all points in between, Baker makes a powerful case for, at the very least, modernising the firm.

To no one’s surprise, some members of the family come out of it particularly badly. The nonce’s friend Prince Andrew is shamelessly arrogant, scrounging millions from the state to meet up with tyrants and paedophiles and generally have a good time. His former wife Sarah Ferguson made them a match made in hell, running up as she did a debt of some £5 million. Even the dear old Queen Mother left gigantic gambling debts when she shuffled off her mortal coil. She wasn’t very nice either. Collectively, this incredibly rich family have plundered millions from the state and continue to do so. Even Prince William and his wife Kate Middleton don’t escape criticism. Honestly, if like me you have been living under the illusion that the royals only cost us each a few coppers a year, by the time you reach the end you will not believe it.

Prince Charles will soon be king and it is believed he wishes to slim down the monarchy. Once people have read this forensic takedown of the royals, he will not only have to slim it down he will need to gut it.

This is what great writing can do; influence, open and sometimes change your mind. ‘And What Do You Do?’ has changed mine. I will never be able to look at the royals without thinking, we need to get rid of them, all of them. And if you read the book too, I defy you to say you feel the same about them. Wait until you read the bit about a Canadian airforce jet being flown hundreds of miles in order to reunite with Charles his favourite shoehorn which he left behind in another town. This is the tip of an astonishing iceberg.