An innocent man?

Nothing says I’M INNOCENT! like arguing that a civil case against you alleging sexual assault be kicked out on a technicality. In any event, who could possibly believe Andrew Windsor could have done such a thing? Just because his old mate Jeffrey Epstein happened to be a convicted paedophile, which Mr Windsor knew full well when he visited him in New York, or that his pal Ghislaine Maxwell was procuring underage girls for Epstein to abuse. That doesn’t prove anything, does it, apart from a smoking gun.

No. Clearly, there are some things best left to lie. It just depends on your interpretation of the word ‘lie’. A sleeping dog or someone who tells lies. Your honour, it’s over to you.

Older readers may recall Mr Windsor’s nickname ‘Randy Andy’, a nickname he has enjoyed since he was 19. According to my dictionary, Randy stands for ‘sexually aroused or excited’ or ‘having a rude, aggressive manner.’ Well, both, I reckon.

But the big issues are surely these:

• The world knew Epstein was a paedophile. At what stage did Mr Windsor know and why did he carry on seeing him after he was convicted the first time?
• Did he sexually assault Virginia Giuffre? She says he did. He says he didn’t.

Guilty? Not guilty? Who knows? But we do know some things:

• Epstein was a convicted paedophile
• Maxwell is a convicted child sex trafficker

Mr Windsor knew one of these facts, but not the other?

He says he’s worried about the damage that this sordid business has inflicted on the crumbling House of Windsor. I’ll bet he is far more worried about his own skin because, however this plays out, his career, if you can call it that, is over. No more being rushed from place to place shaking hands with people and no more overseas jollies (trade missions) representing her maj. He will be kept out of sight forevermore.

Very unfortunate for Mr Windsor but I couldn’t care less. I’ve always regarded him as the worst of the royals, a publicly funded international playboy who contributed next to nothing to the country. And being so slippery in recent times, notwithstanding his car crash Newsnight interview with Emily Maitlis, has hardly done him any favours.

Thoughts as ever with the victims. For Andrew Windsor, not so much.