As I write, my old team, Bristol Rovers, are headed for another win. If things go tits up and they go on to lose, well so be it. I’ll write this “live” and publish it accordingly.
Now that the age-old arguments among supporters have ended – and not before time – I can feel good about the club again. The reason for my decision to not go to another game has not been changed, but I decided some time ago that life was simply too short to dwell in it forever. Instead, I shall celebrate the club’s successes from a distance, as I shall share the sorrow when it comes back again.
There really is no point in flogging a dead horse, especially when you are the only one flogging it. Life is, I am finally beginning to realise, the art of the possible. The things you cannot change, or affect, you have to leave to one side.
Do I regret that my stubborn streak, and my fierce loyalty to a friend, will mean that I shall never see my football club again, “in the flesh” so to speak? No. I did at one time. But friends urged me to move on. It was clear that the club chairman Nick Higgs was not a man for turning, that if he made a decision he would not be someone you would want to cross, nor argue with. Three years on, I have got the message!
I’m meeting Mr Higgs in a few weeks about something completely separate, something far more important. I bear him no ill will, no grudge. People tell me that below the gruff, autocratic exterior lies a good man whose heart, if not all his actions, are in the right place. I will certainly not be raising the reason for my non attendance. That’s done, all over, I don’t want to go over all that stuff ever again.
For all I know, the Gas could be going up again this year and what a reward that would be for those astonishing supporters who not only stuck with the club in non league football, they embraced it. It doesn’t matter whether I wish I was part of the rebirth of the club because it’s about more than me. This is just what I think about it. And I’m happy about it now.
