Well, that was painless. We finally got round to buying the family Christmas tree from the amusingly named “Trees R Us” near Frenchay. I had threatened not to attend the ceremony at all if she who must be obeyed insisted on going on a Saturday when it would have been rammed. I would no more have gone to buy a tree on a Saturday than trudge through Cabot Circus. It was so much more bearable, or rather less unbearable than usual.
I have Christmas tree blindness. They all look exactly the same to me. She who must be obeyed laughably asks, “What do you think?” to which the reply is either, “I could not care less” or “I can’t tell the difference between that tree and the other 50 you have just rejected.” I get a look that says, “You really can’t tell the difference? Are you serious? Actually, yes, I really think you are. ” Followed by a disapproving shake of the head.
If I had my way, I simply wouldn’t bother. You’re paying a lot of money for something that is dead, that’s going to decompose and eventually leave needles all over the place, despite the salesman’s assertion that this is a “no drop tree”. Oh yeah? Well, just carting the wretched thing through the house has already seen dropped leaves all over the place. How does that work?
“I don’t know why you moan. It’s not as if it’s you that’s going to decorate the tree”, is the next thing I hear. Entirely true. I would rather stick tree needles in my eyes than hang baubles all over the thing, not to mention lights which I am sure will not work.
Buying the Christmas tree is simply what you do this time of the year, in the same way you buy industrial qualities of Baileys to drink for the sake of drinking it. For me, it is the opportunity to have a few tumblers of Warninks Advocaat, like I used to do as a small child. This was, so far as I could tell, the law in the land of my mother’s (Holland). Who am I to argue with traditions like these?
The tree is now on the patio because, I am told, it is very wet. Well, yes, and it’s getting wetter by the second. We have spent £40 on a tree which is in the early stages of its demise in the pouring rain. It’s the tradition, isn’t it?
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Artificial tree with built in lights here. Separates into three and kept in the basement until needed.
Lights have worked all 10 years so far. $20 from Walmart I think.
Looks very nice especially through the window from outside.
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