I am still struggling with the trauma of having seen Meghan Markle break royal protocol by closing a car door (how dare she?). Did you get that? The Duchess of Walford (I think that’s right) got out of a car and shut the door. I am concerned that this could be treasonable.
Apparently, this signifies that Meghan is really shaking up the royal family, bringing it into the 21st century. Whatever next? Will she be cleaning the royal shitter or hanging out the washing on a particularly nice day? What’s more, who cares?
Plainly some people care because it’s in the kind of newspapers you might expect to publishing this sort of dross. I haven’t been in work today or for that matter in the pub so I am assuming that people are talking of nothing else. “Ooh, they’ve only named one of the blokes who left poison in Salisbury!” “That’s all very well, but Meghan Markle has shut a fucking car door. I kid you not. Something should be done.”
I am, you may have realised, not the most passionate royal, although I quite like Prince Harry in a laddish sort of way and his wife in a lustful sort of way. Her public duties which will involve rushing round shaking hands with people and making small talk are of little consequence. But what is it with car doors?
One must assume that young Meghan will be in serious trouble with Big Phil when she next visits the palace. (Buckingham, not Crystal.) Doubtless, he will be explaining to this pretty young American interloper, who he may or may not recognise, that she must do what she is told. It is one thing being seen in public but it is quite another closing car doors. “Leave them open next time,” the old boy will surely say. “It’s someone else’s job. And if you carry on like this, you can divorce. After all, that’s what happened to most of my children.”
