Yesterday, I visited my local health centre to have my Covid and flu booster jabs. Today, I feel like I have just gone 12 rounds with Audley Harrison: absolutely fine! If only. That was one from the Old Jokes Home and doubtless there will be more of them as this blog goes on. In fact, I feel anything but absolutely fine, more like someone who has just gone 12 rounds with Tyson Fury. Not only do my limbs and muscles ache, particularly in the areas where Bill Gates’ tracking devices were inserted, I seem to have slight flu and Covid symptoms, too. It will all be worth it, though, if I avoid flu and Covid (again).
My loyal reader will know that my local health centre isn’t the most well organised. It’s all but impossible to get a GP appointment and literally impossible to see the GP you want to see, assuming you have actually seen one of them. before (I haven’t). You wait ages for test results, if you get any kind of response at all, and when you contact them it feels like they are doing you an almighty favour when you ask them to do something. That said, yesterday’s jabs represented the very model of efficiency.
I arrived way ahead of my appointment time and was seen immediately. First I had my age queried, which was extremely flattering, and then I was told to put a mask on, which I suppose is fair enough given how awful the current Covid experience is. “Just a little prick,” the kindly young man didn’t say to me. “It’s the cold weather,” I didn’t reply. What he actually said was “It’s Pfizer. A little scratch coming,” and that’s how it felt, twice. And that was it. I didn’t suffer an immediate anaphylactic reaction and within seconds I was weaving my way neatly through the wheelchairs, mobility scooters and Zimmer frames out of the surgery and home.
I knew I would feel rubbish today. I usually do after my annual jabs. I spent much of the night rolling from side to side, trying to work out which of my arms hurt least. This morning, I have a serious case of man flu, which has gained me no sympathy whatsoever from my long-suffering partner. As man flu in my case is little more than a runny nose, tiredness and the aforementioned aching limbs, I suppose I can see where she is coming from.
Another thing that struck me yesterday was the absence of technology on display. The jabbers (is that the name of their occupations?) had lists of names on sheets of papers, which they marked off with actual pens. I am no Luddite but I was impressed by a system which, unlike so many other things at our surgery, is more state of the Ark than state of the art. Sometimes in an increasingly complicated world, it’s the simple things that appeal most to a simple person like me. I’ll be going back to cash if I carry on like this.
I’m all Pfizered up for Christmas now so here’s fingers crossed that I’ll make it to 2024. I’m reasonably optimistic that I will and that’s a key reason I always take up the offer of jabs whenever they are offered. My delusions of immortality are long behind me but science is doing its bit to extend my stay on planet earth and I am very grateful for those little pricks at the health centre.
