Despite the grim autumnal weather, this particular Friday has started on a rather positive note. I confess to the fact that I was somewhat groggy when I switched on the radio this morning, but so far as I could tell the government has legalised Cannabis. Not only that, it will be available on prescription and as I am now so old I no longer have to pay for prescriptions I shall shortly be be popping down to my local surgery to order a quarter of weed to last me through the weekend. I have had worse starts to Fridays. Then I am reminded, by way of the “and finally” section of the news that there is a royal wedding today between someone called Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank. It’s a national holiday.
Of course, it’s not a national holiday because the Princess doesn’t actually perform a great deal by way of royal duties. In fact, she has a full time job as…er…director of an art gallery. If you thought that was a non job, wait until you hear about Jack’s job. He is a Tequila brand ambassador!
Along with the rest of the country, I shall not be paying a great deal of attention to the wedding itself, especially because it’s not on the BBC, which tells you it’s a rather minor affair. But, as with all weddings, it does present the opportunity to have a good drink and to that end I have discovered in my wine rack a delightful bottle of Slovenian Sparkling Sauvignon Blanc which I will use tonight to celebrate the good health of the happy couple, in between sparking up another spliff, that is.
To be fair to the BBC, there is some coverage of the build up to the wedding on the telly and radio, mostly by way of Vox Pops from Windsor where a small crowd of ‘well-wishers’ have assembled in the pouring rain to, well, ‘well-wish’. However, to pour of bucket of cold water over the occasion, the sounds and sights of Windsor are more than slightly disturbing.
If I am being honest – and as this is my blog, I can be as honest as I like – many of those interviewed sound a little care in the community. In some instances – an entire family that has arrived from Canada because they love all the charitable work the royals do, I ask you – it sounds positively bizarre. And we are told that Eugenie provides a little ‘kudos’ to this country. She does? It is certainly true to say that the royals do provide additional income for the people selling overpriced royal tat, the Italian Prosecco industry and the various Del Boys up and down the land who see the opportunity of a fast buck. I cannot, for the life of me, understand the excitement of the elderly ladies at Windsor who are desperate to see a celebrity – ‘any celebrity’ (Pixie Geldof, anyone?) – which will make their day. But then, I wouldn’t even go to the trouble of reaching for the remote to watch the thing on telly, never mind trek to Windsor.
Still, it’s an excuse for a drink and, if I have correctly understood the law change, an excuse for a bloody great spliff. With any luck, I’ll be so pissed and stoned, I might even enjoy the wedding. But don’t bet on it.
