The annual Stoke Gifford cricket piss up went off very successfully at the Bristol Golf Club with fewer than expected casualties.
Red-faced organiser Longy cleverly arranged for the yobs to be seated together from the main body of the room meaning that Nigel, Henry Winterman, Mr Angry Daniels and the like were able to drink themselves senseless without bothering everyone else.
As usual, the evening started off with an overlong speech by the Sheriff before the guests to stick their noses firmly into the trough as the food arrived and booze flowed.
Once the food was finished, the Sheriff once again commandeered the microphone and launched into an endless speech which was recorded on film in its entirety by one of our agents and will be put on this blog as soon as we can find out how to upload it.
Details of the main award winners will also appear later (if we can be bothered) but one award stands out.
Calum Meaney, who arrived looking rather like a member of the Amish community having shaved off his moustache but not his fluffy beard, actually won an award for a ‘world class’ catch! Henry Winterman was fully expecting to win this award for his ‘worldy’ and he had a face like thunder when Meaney was called up to collect the award.
The awards complete, guests swamped the bar in order to consume as much booze as possible.
There was some awful dancing by Moaty and Paddon but the low point was a horrendous drink-fuelled effort by Mark Stephens with his long-suffering daughter.
Hardly anyone could view the embarrassing scene before them, least of all Stephens’ gorgeous pouting wife Sharon who looked like she wanted the ground to open up beneath them.
As the clock struck midnight, the hordes descended on the bar for a nightcap only to find it was closed.
Moaty was livid. “The bus isn’t going to be here for at least half an hour,” lashed the furious net minder. “How am I going to manage without another pint?”
But the terrified bar staff refused to reopen for him!
