We have a standing joke in our house about the alcohol content in booze. Some years ago, someone was checking the alcohol content in their wine and discovered it came in at 13%. “That must be good, then”, they concluded, as if the alcohol content alone meant that a wine must be better than one with a lower content. Total nonsense, of course, but ever since then I have cracked the exact same joke when looking at a high-strength beer or wine: “That must be good then.” Brewing companies are now engaged in lowering the alcohol content of many of their beers in order to save money and increase profits. How so?
In 2023, the Conservative government led by Rishi Sunak (a teetotaller) made changes to alcohol duty which basically meant that stronger beer would be taxed at a higher rate, supposedly as much as anything for health reasons. Yeah, right, I add cynically. Nothing to do with the Treasury wanting to rake in more cash, then?
To that end, well known brands of alcohol are reducing the alcohol content in many of their beers from this autumn. Terrible beers like Carlsberg, John Smith’s, Coors and Amstel have already been subject to reduced alcohol content and they are soon to be joined by Carling, who will be cutting the alcohol from 4% to 3.4%. That’s the same as Fosters who have already gone down that road.
Frankly, this makes no difference to me since I regard these two as the very worst lagers man and woman can buy. They were already undrinkable at 4%. What they will be like now I can only imagine. If you move to low alcohol beers you may not live any longer but it will feel like it. As one wag put it in today’s Guardian, “3.4%? My urine is stronger than that.” In my local, they’d say ‘piss’, but you get the general idea.
That said, low alcohol does not necessarily mean bad booze. While I don’t drink anything like the amount I used to – I doubt that I’d be alive to tell the story if I did – I prefer quality to quantity and alcohol content is not by any stretch a deciding factor. Recently, I ordered a case of summer whites and Rosés which are mostly at the lower end of wine alcohol content tables. They are perfect for summer drinking with the added advantage you don’t get pissed so easily. I am not an expert, but it seems to me that you find far higher quality lower alcohol wines than you do beers.
There is an argument that goes that it is almost impossible to make a decent quality lager that comes in at less than 5%. For all I know, that could well be the case given the presence of such horror shows as the aforementioned Fosters and Carling. I know that if the only lager you could get was on a par with those two, I’d go the whole hog and drink an alcohol free version. In my limited experience of alcohol beer – something frankly I can’t see the point of – they’ve been less unacceptable than Carling.
The good news for lager drinkers is that the prices won’t be going up. It’s just cheaper for the brewers to produce and they can make more money. The Guardian again pointed out that it’s the same principle as making crisp packets and chocolate bars smaller for the same price.
I certainly understand the health benefits of not drinking to excess, as I certainly used to do, so having dramatically reduced expenditure on alcohol I am quite happy to spend money on the good stuff and nothing at all on the crap. If you ever see me drinking Carling, kill me, or better still have me sectioned. Now drink responsibly, all.
