As my loyal reader will know, I have very strong feelings about bullying. Hearing about the bullying allegations in the House of Commons, and then from MPs who, because they like one of the people accused of bullying, turn a blind eye to it makes my bloody boil. If this country cannot expect its elected representatives to take action against bullying, what price the rest of us?
It does not matter who you are or who you work for, bullying is unacceptable. Sometimes it is about power, sometimes it comes about because of sheer vindictiveness; sometimes it is both. I had never suffered from bullying during 39 years in the civil service but when working for an internationally renowned charity, the British Red Cross, I was picked out for special treatment. I kept daily records on what happened to me, eventually creating a timeline of all major events. I kept dates, times, exact quotes. But when I complained to the CEO, after suffering a complete mental breakdown, I was never once asked to contribute to a report compiled by a close colleague of the prime abusers; essentially they said I had made everything up. And then being summoned to the organisation’s chosen occupational health officer to be told I was “emotionally weak”. Too right I was: I was in the middle of a mental crisis. Except that I wasn’t emotionally weak, have never been emotionally weak.
I have no idea if the bullying allegations in parliament are true. They need to be investigated, not by a friend or close colleague of the alleged abuser(s), but by someone truly independent. I am fearful that the trauma I suffered at the hands of people whose organisation uses the motto ‘Refusing to ignore people in crisis’ will last a lifetime. If I still wake up in the middle of the night, reliving what happened to me in 2017, how on earth will people feel who have been bullied just away from the public gaze?
My therapist advised me to let this go, that the memories were negative, that I would never get closure because the British Red Cross would always call me a liar who simply made up allegations of bullying. And I am trying. The trouble with bullying is that it can make you feel like it’s all your fault and not the abusers. I know it was not my fault, but when it was happening, I had nowhere to go. The alleged victims of parliament – and everyone else who suffers from bullying – should be listened to and if the allegations are true the bullies should be confronted and disciplined.
