Apropos nothing much at all, I have another ear worm. I can’t get it out of my head. It’s not a song and it’s not an ear worm that’s there all the time, but it’s driving me mad. It’s “they”.
“They?” you might ask. “Who is they “they”? It’s the “they” on the radio travel bulletins. Who are “they”?
I’ve noticed it for years and whilst it was a minor thing to start with, the word started to lodge itself in what’s left of my brain. The bulletin would go something like this: “And there has been an accident on the M25 near Turd Town and “they” have closed the motorway on the anti-clockwise section between junctions 245 and 246.” “They are carrying out urgent repairs.”
I know who they are, of course I do. They will be police officers, they will be traffic patrol officers, who whizz round in those 4X4s making you think they are police officers and blokes wearing fluorescent jackets putting down cones. So why does it matter? It doesn’t.
That’s to say it doesn’t matter because it is not even vaguely important, or of any consequence. But with me it has become an obsession. It has reached the stage where I am listening more for the “they” word than I am to the actual travel report which really is very silly. By the time the bulletin has ended, I find I have not listened to anything about traffic incidents. This is particularly annoying if you then run into the gridlock you would have avoided if only you had only listened properly.
I fear that this will be a lifelong ear worm, an itch that I can’t scratch, a zit I can’t splat on the bathroom mirror (not that I ever did this, oh no).
Anyway, I have to go. They are about to do the travel bulletin on the radio. Aargh!!!
