Apologies for the late arrival of this blog. You see, I’ve been at the local church thanking God for whatever it is we thank God for at Christmas and singing songs praising him, or Him as we’re supposed to call him. God, you see, is in control of everything, apparently, so it’s come as a bit of a surprise to learn that the water supply for a fair chunk of South Gloucestershire has been cut off, which is making it somewhat problematical to celebrate the virgin birth with a hearty meal and a vat of wine. Still, it’s not the end of the world, is it?
For us, we’ve already had to defer Christmas to Boxing Day due to family illness – don’t worry: nothing catastrophic – so it’s not the end of the world. For local people who prefer cooked vegetables to raw ones, this is no laughing matter. Let’s hope that God can get his shit together and restore our supplies as soon as possible, or else we will have to rely on Bristol Water repair men and women.
I was only joking about going to church this morning. I haven’t done God at Christmas for, perhaps, 40 years or more when my mate and I went to Midnight Mass, hoping for a post pub sing song. I had forgotten the terminally grim, solemn nature of most things Roman Catholic and left the service feeling I had been to a funeral rather than any kind of celebration. It was the least wonderful time of the year.
Our local CofE church is, according to its website, is “thriving”, a rare triumph given how belief in the God character is in rapid decline everywhere else. I heard recently that the huge flux of Hong Kongers moving to our neck of the woods has provided a big boost to attendances to the extent that the local vicar is considering laying on an extra Sunday service. So I would imagine that today’s Christmas services will have been rammed. Genuinely, I hope they enjoyed it. While I remain of the view that all religion is nonsense, as long as it doesn’t affect my life in any way at all, and I do wish they would allow children to grow up and make up their own minds about which, if any, God to worship, I hope they had a ball.
I did think of doing a special message for Christmas, perhaps along the lines of the one we will soon hear from King Brian or I could lie through my teeth, like Rishi Sunak, who said “this year will be difficult for many” but somehow forgot to add that this was because of him, the oily shit. Oh, sorry. That’s not the Christmas message, is it? Where’s the ‘Be Kind’ message we’re supposed to convey now and for the rest of the year. But hypocrisy isn’t just for the rest of the year, is it? No, it’s for Christmas, too.
So, still no water, a tummy bug (not mine), no Christmas dinner but I’m still happy because these are small problems. They will be resolved. Gaza, Ukraine this is not. In world terms we’re happy and wealthy.
If you do God, enjoy the celebration of the virgin birth. If you don’t do God, enjoy Christmas because I know I will.
Happy holidays, everyone.
