I’ve never been a hanger or a flogger. Even when the worst crimes have been committed, I’ve never taken the view that a convicted criminal should be killed by way of revenge at the hands of the state. When discussing things like capital punishment, an eye for an eye if you will, the question is always this: you feel this way now, but how would you feel if it was someone in your family was suddenly taken away. I suppose you never really know how you might feel, but the death of my beloved sister-in-law Jenifer Darbellay has, to date, not changed a thing about how I feelNo room.
The alleged perpetrator is in police custody. If found guilty, he will lose freedom forever. So how do I feel about him today, given that he has killed eleven people, seriously injured numerous others and wrecked families? Honest answer: I feel nothing.
Hate? No. Anger? No. I don’t know if I am practicing what I have always preached because I haven’t really had time to think that way. Instead, I am sad, upset, confused and bereft. It feels as if, driven by the subconscious, I don’t have the capacity to hate, to demand revenge or being angry. More than anything, my feelings are of love.
Forgive me for returning to broken record territory, but here goes. There are far more good people out there than bad ones. The media is only too happy to present to us a world in which there is no such thing as society and that everyone, including the vulnerable, maybe especially the vulnerable, should be left to fend for themselves. That is not the world I see and the world I know.
Brother Noel’s friend has set up a gofundme page to help the family get through this awful situation and, as I write, over $165,000 (Canadian dollars) has been raised. That’s in just a couple of days. I know where my love lies. I am humbled by people’s kindness. Love, as always, is the answer.
I don’t know how I will feel in the days and weeks to come, when and if more news emerges about this terrible outrage, but I would like to think I will expend more time and energy on those who do good things, people who are kind for no other reason than that’s who and what they are.
Of course, we are still broken and it will take some time to put the pieces back together but somehow, someday soon I hope, we will. And it will happen because of good people doing good things.
