What do you think about ‘Boomers’, ‘Gen Z’ and ‘Millennials’? Does it concern you that Millennials are now uncool in the eyes of Gen Z? It certainly obsesses Guardian hack Chloë Hamilton (nor me) whose lengthy piece in today’s issue explains how millennials are “mocked by Gen Z for everything from their trainer socks to their mom jeans and selfie technique.” I read the article so you don’t have to and ended up with a simple conclusion: what the fuck is she on about? My second thought is this: who cares?
Before brief check with Mr Google, I had literally no idea whether I come under any of these categories and even less interest. I almost always wear ‘trainer socks’ because I don’t want my trainers to stink, I have no idea what ‘mom jeans’ are, but I am guessing that as they are referred to as mom and not mum, this is an American thing? And personally, I find that any kind of selfie photograph is generally a bad idea because you are probably nowhere near as attractive as you think you are. I never take selfies because I look like I have permanent Bell’s Palsy. (So do you, by the way, but you may not have noticed, yet.)
It is not just because of an age thing that I have no interest in being or looking cool. I never have had an interest in coolness. All right, I avoid terrible things like Crocs, wearing double denim or having a moustache but that’s nothing to do with being cool. And anyway, it appears that having a tache, which to my great embarrassment I did for many years, is right back in fashion, especially among men. Look, each to their own, but you will not convince me that they look anything other than shit. Again, if you do have a tache then good luck to you. You may need it to avoid ridicule.
Ms Hamilton also refers to Generation X-ers and beyond, which you can only be if you were born between 1965-80, so again that’s me fucked. But it gets even more bizarre. Someone called Sam Harrington-Lowe (nor me) edits Silver Magazine (nor me) says that those born between 1965-80) are “undeniably the coolest generation” because, she says, they don’t care. “The thing about being cool or not is about whether you care about it.” This makes even less sense to me than all the gobbledegook that came before. Look, I may well be a relic from a bygone age, a fossil of a human being and rather than being cool, I’d just rather be happy. I am not here simply to somehow impress others. I don’t refuse to wear Crocs, wear double denim or wear a tache because they’re cool. It’s because, as I said before, they’re shit.
Why do we need these labels anyway? Do they really add anything to our lives? And anyway, who had decreed that someone born in 1964 cannot be a Generation X-er? But why would anyone want to be anyway?
Hamilton concludes: “Really, it’s impossible to define cool; what’s cool to me won’t necessarily be cool to you. Perhaps, then, there’s hope for the much-maligned millennials: if we think we’re cool, does anything – or anyone – else matter? Perhaps we should all be more like Ormond (nor me – RJ) and wear trainer socks, if we want.” What a conclusion to an article about being cool or uncool. It’s impossible to define and anyway it doesn’t matter. Christ on a bicycle, she got paid a wedge of cash for writing this stuff, which has zero bearing on my life.
Gen Z, Gen X, Boomers and Millennials: it’s all a load of bollocks. And that’s not cool or uncool. It’s a simple fact.
