What happens to us when we die? Not, perhaps, the cheeriest thought with which to begin a Friday morning so let’s not dwell on it too much, beyond saying that in my view the answer to the question is very simple: nothing. We just return to the state we were before we were born, which is nothing. I do not dwell a great deal on what will happen to me because I will be too dead to know about it, but reading a copy of my online Guardian today, I’ve found something that make work, especially for people who just can’t let go. Be part of a painting.
An artist called Elaine Murray uses dead people in her paintings. Instead of scattering their ashes, as folk tend to do, she incorporates them into her rather lovely paintings. You can read about it here.
It’s not something that appeals to me, if I am being honest (and what’s the point in writing a blog if I am not honest?). A painting which includes the ashes of a loved one will be just that: it will not bring anyone back. I’d no sooner retain someone’s ashes or have them as part of a painting. But I know that not everyone feels that way. I have seen enough on social media that people find it incredibly hard, if not impossible, to let go of a loved one. If you are one of those people who cannot go a day without thinking of, say, a parent who has died and indeed commemorate their passing every year, then this type of initiative may be for them?
When my mum died, back in 1999, it did not even occur to me to ask for her ashes. She had died following a long and painful illness and her passing was a blessing, for her a deliverance. It was the same, maybe even more so, with my stepdad a few years later, which saw his final years blighted by Parkinson’s and dementia. I had my memories of both of them but preserving them in a physical form, through their ashes, would have achieved what, exactly?
But for someone who wishes to keep the memory alive in a more substantial way, which is to say by retaining the ashes of the loved one, there are worse things to do than put them in a painting. If holding on to yesterday helps someone get through life, it can only be a good thing, right?
