People are making excuses for the sheer idiocy of some England fans chanting ‘No surrender to the IRA’ at Celtic Park last night. Oh, it was just a bit of banter, it was a wind up given the twisted sectarianism that has marred some aspects of Glasgow football since forever. Sorry, but it’s just not on. And there is one group of idiots who have to be disposed of with immediate effect. The England band.
Once I started listening out for it, particularly on the radio, I could hear the IRA stuff very clearly and on every occasion it was the self-proclaimed, self-styled, terminally boring England band that were leading the chanting. On every single occasion.
They bore for England too. You may have heard their repetitive playing of The Great Escape throughout games and I always find it interesting that they have chosen that tune in particular. Trying to establish a context for the song, it is not as if the England football team has been involved in many heroic escapes from difficult situations: they’ve usually been crap so it hasn’t applied. So I draw only one conclusion: Germany. The film, the Great Escape, was, in their minds presumably, an international match between England (plus a few American, Russian and Scottish guests, one of whom made a disastrous attempt to climb the fence only to later end up in Crossroads and another who became Bodie and Doyle’s boss) and those nasty, humourless and murdering Germans. What else could it possibly mean? Why else play it?
My reaction on hearing the solid 15 minutes of chanting was revulsion but more so embarrassment. Five thousand England fans travel to support their country and the team plays brilliantly, for once. So what is Nicky Campbell’s BBC Radio Five Live phone in all about today? Would you believe it’s about ‘No surrender to the IRA’? Of course you would. Do you see what is happening here? Wayne Rooney turns in a career highlight performance, the team plays a high tempo, passing game and we score two fabulous goals and one scrappy one. We play a very good, albeit tired, Scottish team off the park and thanks to the buffoonery of a group of supporters, the headlines are all about the IRA. Well done to all of you for that. I suspect that Roy Hodgson’s slightly muddled half-apology was the last thing he wanted to be talking about. He’d have much preferred to talk about the outstanding performance at right back of Nathaniel Clyne, the ball-carrying and match-changing passes of Jack Wilshere and a world class, yes, world class, performance by Wayne Rooney. You idiots. That’s your fault he had to do that.
It’s great that we are playing Scotland again, especially since under Gordon Strachan they are a fast-improving international side. Of course we should have banter (although how many times do you really want the England fans to sing, ‘Cheer up Gordon Strachan’ to the tune of ‘Daydream Believer’?) and preferably humour too, but chanting about the murderous IRA? (Other Irish terrorist organisations are available.)
In old age, my feelings towards Scotland, certainly in terms of football, have mellowed. I still haven’t reached the stage where I want them to win, but I am now able to appreciate what they have achieved, especially given the small talent pool available to them. I can almost – but only almost at the moment – not want them to lose. In short: Strachan has got them playing the best Scottish football for maybe 30 years and they’re good to watch. There. I said it.
Can’t we just have a few beers, enjoy a laugh together and take the piss without chanting about terrorist groups? Yes, and not only that we can do it all, have a bit of a sing and a chant without a bleeding band. I don’t like the Band full stop. I don’t think it belongs at a football ground, any football ground, any more than we need music over the PA to celebrate a goal. There was never a place for them and it’s time for the FA to recognise this and give them their musical P45. And while you’re on your way out of the door, lads, take all that ‘No surrender’ crap that you encourage with you.
