Yet another reunion tour?

Yes, but you are not being forced to go

by Rick Johansen

Fans of Girls Aloud are absolutely livid that the group is ripping them off with high ticket prices for their ‘reunion tour’ in 2024. “I’m fucking livid,” said Chardonnay Scrote, someone who I have just made up. Another fan said on X: “I’m kinda sad, I did want to see girls aloud but no way am i paying those prices sorryyyy” and yet another said: “Would love to see Girls Aloud but cannot justify those ticket prices maaaaan.” So why do Girls Aloud seem to think they can get away with charging £58 for someone to sit somewhere near the car park and £212 to stand in the VIP area? Because they can, stupid.

If people are in any way surprised with the prices, then they need to give their heads a collective wobble. The whole point of this modestly talented group reuniting is to maximise income. It’s no different to the recent tours by the desperately untalented S Club Five and the likeable but limited Steps. The nostalgia market is massive and despite the absence of Sarah Harding who tragically died of cancer, tickets will sell out in seconds. The next thing you know, more shows will be announced “due to exceptional public demand“, because you know full well the arenas will have already been booked to allow for extra nights. Everyone does it.

At least there is no pretence from Girls Aloud that this is anything other than a pension pot enhancement and credit them for that. There are no plans for them to perform new music. What fans will get for their £200 is the hits, more hits and nothing but the hits. And if I was a fan of Girls Aloud, I’d probably be thrilled.

Let no one tell you that manufactured bands are a new thing. In fact, one of my favourite bands of all time was The Monkees, America’s answer to the Beatles, who later turned out to be a real band capable of making great music of their own. No one is seriously suggesting Girls Aloud have Lennon and McCartney standard songwriting powers but I’d imagine if you like that kind of thing – and I reckon The Promise is a truly great pop song – then good for you.

But don’t whinge about the price of tickets, merch, programmes and all the rest of it because the tour is a business transaction. And with shows like this, the artists will look to charge as much as they can get away with. If you want to relive yesterday, with some of yesterday’s songs, then give it a go. If you think the group is ripping you off, it’s entirely your choice as to whether get ripped off. You don’t go, you won’t be ripped off. Simples.

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