Where things are hollow

Oh no. I have read, fleetingly, briefly, of what happened in the Celebrity Big Brother (CBB) house when it was announced that David had died. Angie Bowie seemed devastated, but worse still the rest of the ‘house mates’ (this is the term given to the non-entities who are in the CBB house) thought that David Gest had died.

Now, let me be honest with you. I had no idea who David Gest was. I had to look him up on Google (other search engines are available, but they aren’t as good) and it turns out he was married to Liza Minnelli, which apparently means he is a celebrity in the same way Angie Bowie is a celebrity. Which means he isn’t, not really.

But it “oopset the hoosemits” as a Geordie announcer put it, at which point I put my head in the oven (bad mistake since we have an electric oven). Cue lots of swearing, abuse and, in general, the worst possible tribute to David Bowie you could ever imagine, or was it David Gest? It is so confusing.

I will be interested to seeing the viewer ratings on this. Did more people watch the BBC/C4 tributes than C5’s CBB? I certainly hope so.

I saw more people today, at both ends of the age spectrum, who really were terribly upset at Bowie’s passing. And I mean really upset. I got it much more today than I got it yesterday when, although I did shed a tear myself (that’s just me: wait until you see me during It’s A Wonderful Life), I was not devastated, the word that these days describes everything from a mild disappointment at a football score and a death in the family. But in a roundabout way, for many people it was life-changing. On CBB it was another opportunity to get pissed and shout a lot. And swear. And boy do they fucking swear. All the fucking time. What a fucking limited fucking vocabulary these fucking time wasters fucking have. Fucking. Maybe they should have a fucking minute’s silence?

I am to blame for spreading the word of CBB. At least two or three people will now say, “Look what you have done. You have given the oxygen of publicity to these fucking fuckwits and now at least two or three additional people will tune in to see a collection of absolute nobodies self-destruct in exchange for a huge wedge of cash.

Do these people have not a shred of personal pride and self-respect? Answer: no. The worst thing is they don’t care, they’re beyond caring and they can’t see beyond the cheque that’s coming their way. As the talented David said, “Fame, puts you there where things are hollow.” Couldn’t have put it better.