Thank you to Stoke Gifford village legend Ben Bennett for passing on the news from Ben Hiscox’s wonderful family that they are specifically requesting that “You can wear jeans or trousers, he wants blue and white tops, Rovers or your club football tops, Clive (Ben’s dad) wants you to dress like you would when Ben would of saw you.” This immediately causes a dilemma for me because of what I would be wearing when I saw Ben.
It is fair to say that whilst I have not always been entirely complimentary about Ben’s dress sense, there is definitely an argument that involves pots and kettles. I bumped into him all over the place, in various supermarkets, pubs, football grounds (professional and amateur) and at social occasions. If I was to turn up dressed as Ben usually saw me, in ill-fitting joggers, elderly T shirt and even more elderly trainers, not to mention unshaven, you would probably not be surprised! You would certainly not be surprised that, on more than one occasion, the great man would pull me up on my less than trend-setting dress sense! But even when he did, I still went away grinning like a Cheshire cat.
What to wear at funerals is usually quite straightforward. Apart from job interviews, funerals represent the only time I wear suits these days and I hate them. But of course, it’s not about me: it’s about what the family wants.
I am still doubtful about wearing jeans, despite the fact that I rarely wear anything else, except in summer, and three-quarter lengths would definitely be a step too far. But I definitely get the point that the dress code, or rather the dress exclusions, are what the family wants and I shall do my best to follow their instructions.
I have been to funerals that ditch the blackness and go for the colour before and the most important thing is that they worked. By the same token, I have been to funerals where black was the preference and sombre music was deemed to be more appropriate. Funerals are always memorable but – and this is an entirely personal view – the ones with colour are those that I remember most of all.
The weather forecast for Wednesday is excellent – bright sunshine and 20c – and I am grateful for that too. The light might not reflect the occasion, at least not to start with, but let us not forget the man himself. Ben Hiscox was a constant shining light in an occasionally dark world, someone with the indefinable ‘x factor’ that made you feel good, made you laugh and, as everyone says, made you feel, made you believe, he was your best friend.
I’ve found my old Rovers shirt and I’ll wear it this week for the first time in a good few years. I’ll wear it with great pride too because the club has acted with extraordinary kindness and compassion during this impossibly difficult time. And, as my son Arie so beautifully put it, I will wish goodnight Ben Hiscox, I’ll see you in my dreams.
