Village teams hammered yet again

Somehow Stoke Gifford cricket plunged to a new low as both teams were slaughtered in their games today.

The first team went to St George Roman Glass and were skittled out for a humiliating 50.

Lamber top scored with 12 but the poverty of Gifford’s cricket was brought into sharp focus by the fact that bone idle student layabout Nigel Johnson was second top score with five.

Elderly Chelsea hooligan John Dunt was run out early on as was foul-mouthed gobshite business mogul Bowers.  Village tough guy Jordan Cooper explained that Bowers wouldn’t even have been in the picture had the decision gone to the third umpire.

Red-faced veteran Longy bemoaned the state of the home team’s pitch as an excuse for the abysmal result but Dan ‘Five Bellies’ Dunt later gave a considered view. “We were shit!’ he said.

Meanwhile, the Sheriff stood aside for the seconds to allow a younger man to captain the stiffs against Chipping Sodbury.

Unfortunately, that younger man was Taff Russell and he led the team to an emphatic six wicket defeat.

Things started well enough with Matt Semple opening with Nathan Daniels. Semple batted well for his 67 but sadly his partners at the other end departed as soon as they arrived.

Only Lewis Jefferies (10) offered any meaningful support as wickets tumbled and the village ended up with a miserable 108.

At least, Harry Black lasted longer than he managed for his golden duck last week, lasting a grand total of two balls before succumbing.

Sodbury got off to a decent start although they were slightly pegged back by some decent bowling by Harry Black, Lewis Russell, Lewis Jefferies and Matt Semple.

There were some excellent performances in the village team, especially from young Russell and Jefferies, but as ever the man of the match was Calum ‘Morph’ Meaney-May for a breathtaking all round display.