The Daily Mirror informs me that fans are “gutted” because Cheryl Fernandez-Versini is getting divorced. I was reasonably certain that this was the same Cheryl who was once in the highly untalented girl group Girls Aloud. It turned out I was right. But what sort of fans are these?
I doubt that these were fans of Cheryl’s music since her albums are commonly on sale for 90p and sometimes less in the few record stores that remain. When Head closed in Bristol’s Galleries shopping centre last week, apparently they could not give away the hundreds of Cheryl’s albums they in store, such is the popularity of Cheryl the singer.
I say singer in only the most general of terms since she is the nation’s sweetheart because of what she looks like and how she looks at the camera. Not even her greatest fans could say that here was a supremely talented songwriter and musician. In 2016 Britain, she is a judge of other people’s talent. I mean, the irony of it all.
I do not know a great deal about Cheryl’s music, although I know that she once had a hit single which featured the word “fight”. It was a particularly bland, manufactured tune, as I recall, with more than the hint of auto tune, but it was okay, at best. Regarding the remainder of her catalogue, I am struggling.
Cheryl, from what I can tell, is mercilessly abused on the grounds that she is very thin. I have seen this sort of stuff on social networks and can’t be bothered to google image her, as we computer folk say. I do not think thin is a desperately good look, whatever the Daily Mail says, but perhaps she is just that way and will stay that way until middle age or until she discovers cheese scones with fresh butter, whatever comes first.
If you are really gutted that Cheryl is getting divorced, then don’t be. She’s famous, mainly, for being famous. We are not talking a Carole King here on the female talent scale but she does appear to be a nice girl who has the unfortunate habit of meeting the wrong man, or perhaps men have the unfortunate habit of meeting the wrong woman, because you never know a person until you live with them.
Cheryl won’t disappear anytime soon. Some time this year, Girls Aloud will reform for a stadium or arena tour to promote their latest greatest hits album and they will make millions. They will do this because, as the saying goes, there is one born every day and plenty of folk will always prefer the safety of that they have already heard rather than the fear of hearing something new.
If they promise to sing “The Promise”, I might go too. But then again, maybe not.
