As soon as I saw the weather forecast for today – cold, wet, miserable – I decided there was only one thing I could do. Don my wet weather gear and play golf.
I arrived at the Woodlands Club in South Gloucestershire shortly after 10.00 am and was immediately cheered by the sight of the near empty car park. Just five cars were present and they all belonged to golf club staff. “You’re the first today, mate,” said a green keeper, “on either course!” I paid my money and walked over to the Signature Course and by the time I arrived at the first tee, I was already extremely wet. By the time I finished the first hole, a bogey six by the way – not bad – I was pretty well soaked to the skin. Despite the weather, I was playing pretty well, although it was increasingly difficult to grip the club (that’s my excuse anyway) and despite the odd blip on the front nine (two eights at three and seven) I also managed three pars to reach the turn in a highly respectable 47.
I would love to be able to tell you more specific details from the back nine but by now my card was so wet, I had to memorise my scores. After an excellent par three on the tricky 15th, I reached the 17th in a very creditable 84. Barring a disaster, I would sure break 100 in the most testing conditions. Barring a disaster. I had 15 shots to play with on the last two holes but sadly I used 10 of them on the Par 3 17th. It’s an island hole with a lake round it and you need a very good hit to make the green and I could not find a good hit in my bag, the ball splashing into the water well short of the island. I took my third from the drop zone and hit that in the water too, so I was then playing five which I overhit into the water on the far side. I then overhit my seventh but managed to get home with just the three putts, the last of which was a very good ten footer, but that only goes to show how bad the previous nine shots had been.
I was now on 94 and needed a five or better to break 100. This one is across a lake too and you need a good shot to clear it. I cleared the lake, but also managed to fade the ball to the right, leaving me a blind – and long – shot into the green, which I failed to do. I finally made the green. Two shots would give me a 99. I could not have been wetter if I had simply sat fully clothed in the bath and, on 24th July, I was cold, too. My first putt went to within three feet and I was very confident I would hole it right until I missed it. Bloody 100.
Actually, in the circumstances, 100 was a good score. We are not talking showers here: we are talking continuous heavy rain. With no one in front of me and no one behind, I was able to build consistency and the only things the rain really affected were my mid irons off the grass and of course that the water on the ground held up my drives (but barely affected the excellent greens, if I am honest).
Obviously, I would prefer it if it wasn’t raining but I am not worried at all about getting wet. That can be remedied when I get home, after a long hot shower to help fight off impending frostbite. Actually, it wasn’t that cold because I was walking at full tilt all round the course!
What today wasn’t was a good walk spoiled. Golf has been a good friend to me in the last three years and I can think of many worse mid life crises to have developed. And the fact that I am prepared to play in literally any weather conditions suggests that the golf bug, or rather the total obsession, has not gone away just yet.
