“Starting soon on BBC 1, a new series of people cooking things, judged by a cockney greengrocer and an Aussie. Now – it’s the One Show with special guest a bloke cooking things.”
Cooking things appears to be the new rock and roll. When I was growing up, admittedly a long time ago, cooking things was what my mum did. The rock and roll I grew up with was old fashioned nonsense like the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. Not anymore.
I confess that I did used to watch TV cookery shows when they were a relative rarity. I recall the Galloping Gourmet, Graham Kerr, as being vaguely entertaining and latterly the excellent Keith Floyd who seemed to tip random things into a pot and produce something I usually found quite revolting to look at. And Ready Steady Cook? I used to record the thing so I could find out whether green peppers triumphed over red tomatoes!
But tonight, the world really did go totally bonkers.
Having restored the FA Cup to credibility since winning the rights from ITV, the BBC were doing oh so well until now. There are plenty of things that are still wrong with the FA Cup, like having the semi-finals at Wembley and having the draw for the next round before some clubs have even played their games for the previous round, but otherwise, 8/10. Knock a few points off from now on.
Not only did the BBC incorporate the FA Cup draw into the tiresome One Show, they managed to do the draw with someone whose job it is to cook things. Now pardon me, but what has Heston Blumenthal, for it was he, got to do with the FA Cup? He is, we were told, an Arsenal fan, so that must have been it. I thought it was absolutely ridiculous.
Whatever next? Perhaps we can get Rick Stein to host Question Time or Ainsley Harriott on Match of the Day. “Oh, we like a bit of that, don’t we?” Hey, how about Antonio Carluccio to present University Challenge? It’s not exactly far-fetched, is it? We already have shows like Saturday Kitchen and Sunday Brunch where celebrities are interviewed whilst they cook and eat food.
After the FA Cup draw tonight, I switched on Sky Sports to watch the Leicester City v Newcastle United game, half-expecting pundits Jamie Carragher and Ronald Koeman at half time to be munching through their pies and drinking cups of Bovril.
Anyway, I’d love to go on but I really can’t. Dinner’s ready, dontcha know? First you get some chicken breasts, cover them in the mixture, chop up the broccoli…
