“Father’s Day,” it says on Wikipedia, “is a holiday, honouring one’s father, as well as fatherhood, paternal bonds and the influence of fathers in society.” More than that, it should add, it’s a great day for the greetings card industry, restaurants and social media where, of course, everyone’s father, dead or alive, is or was the greatest dad ever. If he comes under the ‘dead’ category, as mine does, it must be added, particularly on social media, that he is missed every day. Actually, the most widely believed origin of Father’s Day is more complicated than that. I read this in the failing London Standard:
Father’s Day is generally believed to have been inaugurated in 1908 by a West Virginian woman who missed her own dad.
Grace Clayton had lost her father several years before, but was roused to act by an incident that would shake her town for generations. The 1907 Monogah Mining Disaster left a thousand children fatherless, when an accidental explosion killed 250 fathers and 367 men.
Inspired by the US’s first Mother’s Day earlier that year, Clayton encouraged her pastor — Reverend Robert Thomas Webb — to dedicate a special service to the victims of Monogah.
This was held on July 5, the closest Sunday to her own father’s birthday.
I didn’t know any of that, but I’m not surprised. It turns out that Father’s Day – not Fathers Day, you will note – is as British as MacDonalds, but in my view not in any way as enjoyable as a double sausage and egg McMuffin.
My social media today is packed with lovely messages to fathers alive or dead. I very much respect those of you who are finding it hard to let go, particularly when it is still raw and relates to fathers who only recently left us. I hope today brings you some peace and more than that time to remember the good stuff that fathers gave us.
Personally, I am not in the least bit bothered by Father’s Day, where it relates to my late father and late step father or in my role as a father. I think about my father and step father whenever the mood takes me and I do not expect, or want, cards or presents just because an ancient American tradition demands it. Every day should be whatever day you want it to be.
My attitude to Father’s Day has, I hope, taken account of the feelings of others. I’m trying to be more kind and I am certainly not in the ‘just get over it’ school of thinking. We all owe a debt of gratitude to our fathers in one way or another and if they were in people’s eyes very special dads, that they are no longer with us can be difficult, or even impossible, to get over. If you are in the latter group, for what it is you have the best of my love and my kindest thoughts.
