It is just as well I don’t waste my time with nonsense like “Dry January”. As usual, we still have enough booze to stock an off license (ask your parents what an off license is, kids) and enough food to last until the spring.
I am not sure, exactly, what we were thinking about when filling the shelves and packing the freezer for the one day when the supermarkets are closed. Even now, we have industrial quantities of cole slaw and potato salad, not to mention cold meats and gallons of booze we haven’t even started on yet.
I always argue, not successfully and, to be fair, not with much in the way of enthusiasm, that perhaps we should just buy a few extra bits of pieces. And then we come back with a booze bill that alone costs hundreds of quid. Granted, my oldest son was back for The Big Day and he did his level best to make a dent in the supplies, but unless I seriously binge drink between now and the New Year, I will still be tripping over bottles of real ale and cider into 2016.
The recycling box, or rather recycling boxes, is another more embarrassing matter altogether. They are both completely full and I need to do something very urgently. Our neighbours are very religious and don’t drink at all, so the tactic could be, at the last minute, to fill their box with some of our empties. But I would worry that they might see me, late at night, perhaps, clanking around with bottles and cans in the selfish pursuit of not being quite so embarrassed when the bin men call.
We are going for a walk today, to try and remove some of the excess from our systems. We have attempted this in the past, only to end up back in the pub and then undoing all the good we have done. There is very strong evidence this will happen again, especially if we bump into old friends (or even vague acquaintances). To be honest, I don’t really need an excuse to go to the pub again. I kind of do know when to stop, before things gets messy, which has the unintended consequence of knowing when to start again.
Anyway – enough joshing. I have several pounds of walnuts and brazils to get through today. I mean, it’s Christmas, and I am sure God expects us to consume them as quickly as possible.
