It may not have escaped your notice that I have not written anything about Ben Hiscox for a few days. It is important for me to say at the outset that I have not forgotten him. Far from it. When I bump into his family and friends, the conversation inevitably returns to our Ben and, increasingly, there are some warm stories, which are more in keeping with the man himself than the inevitable sadness that came from his passing.
Clive Hiscox and myself are planning a book about Ben’s life. It is in the early stages because we both know there will be an enormous amount of preparation to ensure it does Ben justice. I am not sure if we have either of us realised the amount of work, albeit a labour of love, to which we have committed ourselves.
I have broached the subject with some of Ben’s best friends and everyone is very positive about the project and there is a very good reason for that: the subject matter, Ben, was an overwhelmingly positive figure, loved by the entire community. Speaking to one of the friends, whom I shall only refer to as being called Chris P in order to protect his identity, I explained that we wanted stories that defined and were part of Ben’s character.
“We want to hear all the stories!” I said to Chris.
Shaking his head, Chris replied, “I promise that you don’t!”
Now why did I smile when Chris said that? I had no idea what these stories might be, but the implication was certainly that perhaps they might not be appropriate for a biography. But then again, they might be! To say that Ben was no angel would be to suggest there was a dark side to his nature and this was very much not the case. No. I would say that he was at the very worst a ‘Cheeky Chappy’ with not an ounce of malice in his body. I think Clive will need to be the final arbiter of what appears in the final manuscript, but it is both of our clear aims that we want a book that captures the spirit of Ben, nothing more, nothing less, and if we can do that – and I am certain we can – that will make it worthwhile.
Has there been a change in the air since Ben’s passing, which is almost two months ago now? In terms of the grief and loss, then no, how could there be? In terms of picking up the strands of people’s lives and trying to return to some sort of normality, then yes, there is an element of that. This is because there are others who depend on the bereaved and need them for their lives too. This, I know, is easy for me to say, but it is also true. But one thing I have been aware of is the emerging sense that it is all right to smile at the memory of Ben Hiscox. It was, and remains, perfectly okay to shed a tear at his passing, but it is also perfectly okay to smile and even laugh at his legacy. After all, what was Ben doing in most of the photographs that have appeared on social networks? He was smiling! And why was he smiling? Because his life was lived in a community which made him happy and comfortable. I cannot believe he would not want us to be smiling today.
On so many occasions since the accident, the sun has unexpectedly shone. The funeral, the tribute match, even the Bristol Rovers play off final at Wembley and the sun shone. Yes, I know it is just one long coincidence, but it has been a comforting experience. I think it is quite possible that in the future, I will associate Ben Hiscox with sunshine because to our village he was the sunshine of our lives.
I am truly humbled to be working with Clive on such a worthwhile project and I promise you that our efforts will make you pleased and they will make you proud. They will make you laugh and they will make you cry but there is a story to tell and we are going to tell it as best we can.
So just because things are a little quieter than they were in the early days of April, it doesn’t mean nothing is going on and no one cares anymore. That’s far from the truth. In fact, there is more going on than ever.
As I write, the sun isn’t shining, but it might be tomorrow or the day after and that’s what I look forward to. In the words of John Martyn, sunshine’s better.
