It’s deadline day in the January transfer window and things really couldn’t get less exciting. Sky Sports are showing the non-event on no less than three channels, it’s live on BBC Radio Five Live and soon it’s going to be live on BT Sport. And next to nothing is happening.
And next to nothing is what always happens on the January deadline day because in the last four years a mere 74 players have transferred clubs. That figure is in itself a gross exaggeration because if you strip out players aged 22 and younger, who are generally unknown and aren’t likely to play much this season, you are down to a total of 44 players, a grand total of 11 players per transfer deadline day. Not that this will affect the media who will be salivating at the prospect of finding out about Woking’s latest loaning signing and Sky in particular will have reporters at the Premier League training grounds to inform us that nothing is happening.
The scene at QPR was priceless. ‘Arry Redknapp usually leaves the training ground, winds down his window and engages with reporters, but tonight the Sky man earnestly looked at the camera and informed us that the Director of Football operations Les Ferdinand had turned right instead of left when leaving. This suggested, he continued, Ferdinand could be heading for Lostus Road where the CEO could put the rubber stamp on a major transfer about which the reporter knew nothing. Alternatively, the reporter didn’t say, Ferdinand could have been on his way to McDonalds or KFC. In fact, this was probably more likely.
Doubtless, Jim White will soon be wheeled out by Sky for a couple of hours of near hysteria. “And we are just learning from Manchester United that…..the lights are out and no one’s at home, but hang on in there to see if Louis van Gaal makes a late move to sign…” Jim will tell us, as the reporter is surrounded by local representatives of care in the community as they gurn at the camera.
I am not sure that you even get decent value in the January window. For every Luis Suarez, you get an Andy Carroll or if you are Fulham you can splash out £12m on someone called Konstantinos Mitroglou and, speaking of ‘Arry, remember Christopher Samba?
The hype worked for a few years and it was genuinely fun to watch White at work, with his ultra camp Scottish accent, ranting and raving away but now it’s as modern and cutting edge as a teas made.
What we do know is that the transfer window will not close later on: it will slam shut, as transfer windows always do.
