(Not) Being There

These may well be my last words on the subject, but I can’t ignore the fact that the team I supported from childhood are going to Wembley tomorrow and I won’t be there. Prior to 2006, this would have been unthinkable, such was my deep and unqualified love for Bristol Rovers but we are where we are.

Of course, a very large part of me will be with my friends, at least in spirit. I know what these days are like and I hope they all have a great day. It’s a time of excitement, almost unbearable tension and the rare comradery you only ever find at football matches. Sharing an occasion with thousands of other people who lead lives you will never know about, and probably wouldn’t want to; united in a common cause.

Bristol Rovers owner and chairman Nick Higgs has done it for me. He banned a close friend of mine from attending football matches and funeral wakes (though curiously not rugby) at the Memorial Stadium for what he called “consistent criticism”. I made a personal decision not to attend another Rovers match whilst my friend remained banned. But he remains banned, it’s obviously a lifetime ban and so my absence from Rovers games is for life too. Oh well. No matter. It’s done now. Mr Higgs can do what he likes, it’s his club, he can ban who he likes and he doesn’t have to have a reason. I accept that. There’s no longer any bitterness nor anger. A couple of years ago, I was told on a football forum that I should “get over (myself)” and that I “should move on”. I didn’t take kindly to that advice, but in retrospect, that person was probably right. I’ve now done both.

As for Mr Higgs himself, I was in correspondence with him some weeks ago to thank him and the club for their kindness and generosity in connection with the tragic bereavement we suffered in my village. He was kind enough to reply too. Credit where credit is due, although recently the correspondence has been one way, which may have something to do with the small matter of a new stadium Mr Higgs is building just down the road from me! What the club did in those difficult times meant more than he would ever know and whilst I could drag out my previous issues, and those of others, in the grand scheme of things I am happier with what Mr Higgs did last month than I am sad by the water that has long flowed under the bridge. Let’s leave it at that.

Not being at Wembley whilst my team is there will almost certainly signal the end of my now tenuous association with the club, but that’s fine. As with my loyalty to my banned friend, I have the same loyalty to all my friends so I want them to have the best day they can. Yes, I should be there with them and if I’d really wanted to, I could have been. But I’d like to think I am an honest person who has principles, no matter how absurd and self-defeating others might see them to be. I know I often think too much but I can only be comfortable in my own skin if I follow my heart and principles to the logical conclusion. I’ll certainly be thinking about my friends enjoying their pre match beers and that wonderful walk along Wembley Way, followed by the elation of a Wembley win.

I’ll think about my club, Bristol Rovers, and how nice it was to know you, and I hope the friends I was blessed to meet over 40 years as a Gashead will still be there come Monday.